


For Ryder

by aseaofwords



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Adoption, Fluff, Happy Ending, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Pining, Retiring Together, but only for a little while, these boys are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-05-21 20:37:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 25,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14922429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aseaofwords/pseuds/aseaofwords
Summary: He was at the peak of his career: captain, three Cups, still leading high in goals per season. He couldn't afford the risks. He wouldn't even have a partner to help.He was back in the orphanage quicker than he thought. April looked up at him, “Did you forget something, Mr. Crosby?”Sid looked back at the toddler, still sitting in the corner, sucking on his fingers, bottom lip trembling. “Yeah. I forgot him.”





	1. Prewarnings

Okay so I have big plans for this book. But. There are a couple things I’m going to mention, just to clear things up.

**1- This is a Sidney Crosby/Jonathan Toews book.**

Distance is always tricky to write especially with a kid involved, but I've got ideas on how to make it work. There will be that romance factor going on throughout, so not only will it be a book about Sid adopting a kid, it will also be how Jonny fits in and ends up being with Sid.

Also, the actual romance doesn't come in for a few chapters, but Jonny will be a steady character throughout the book.

 **2- Sid** **_does_ ** **rush into the adoption process.**

He's about four visits in, but has nothing at his house but a small bed for him, because at least he's smart enough to think out _that_. But he doesn't have other necessities, and therefore technically isn't ready. It's also the middle of the season, nearing Christmas, so in real life, that could cause a problem with bonding. Luckily, I'm working around that to make it fluffy.

 **3- A small little detail that I wrote in that will probably get overlooked: in the story, Sidney has had past** **_secret_ ** **boyfriends**.

This means he _does_ know the small similarities and differences when dating boys instead of girls. It helps that they're both trained for the media and are adults.

 **4- In the beginning, Jonny has a small crush on Kaner**.

However, this isn't a huge deal; it's mainly for my Kazer-loving pleasure, but also to add some drama and plot to Jonny and Sid’s developing relationship. It goes away quickly, what with him and Sid getting closer, which is why it isn't tagged for Kazer.

  **5- Ryder has a speech delay**

 He's two, and he can say 'yes' and 'no', but he has trouble saying words and forcing sentences. My nephew has this, actually, so I'm going based on his symptoms and his speech therapist lessons.

 

But that's it! I hope you enjoy guys :) I'm already in love with what I've written so far.


	2. A Charity Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Penguins visit an orphanage for a Christmas charity event. Sidney takes to an orphaned toddler who loves blocks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh hi! So if you're here from "Pittsburgh and the Runaway", I welcome you back. If you haven't read that, it has nothing to do with this book, just gave me the inspiration for it. 
> 
> Without further ado, let's get on with the story because i adore Sid and Jonny and them eventually raising a kid together is all I could want in life.

Growing up, hockey had always been his number one. Practice, play, be better, win. The cycle continued, hours of shooting pucks into his basement dryer, days of practicing after school. It was all for hockey, and it paid off in the best way.

As Sidney climbed up the ladder from rookie to alternate to captain, the feeling of needing to be the best didn't fade at all, even when he was sitting at the top. If anything, it made that fire even more furious, and he doubled his efforts. 

That paid off, too, because he led his team to three Stanley Cups, and that-  _ that  _ \- was the best feeling.

Well, you'd have to measure that feeling against winning gold in the Olympics, but they're both extremely breathtaking moments.

As he became more known, he started doing more things publicly, raising money for charities and starting the Little Pens program.

Sid was great with kids, contrary to the little voice in the back of his head that's constantly he might kill them by accident. Kids loved him, looked up to him, and Sidney was happy to be a leader and help them play hockey.

Which is why, since he’s so good with kids and, uh  _ publicity _ , duh, they often go to children’s hospitals to see the sick kids around Christmas time. It always made something flutter in Sidney’s chest when a child would light up when he walked in.

So when Mario decided the Pens should head over to the local orphanage as Christmas came around again, Sidney thought it was a great idea. He'd get to meet all these kids that didn't have homes, could show them what it will be like when they get adopted. It was a perfect idea.

Except, halfway through their visit, Sidney noticed that the little boy in the back corner, playing by himself, hadn't moved since they arrived.

Sidney was somehow -- by magic, it must have been the only option -- was able to free himself from the crowds of excited kids. He made his way to the boy, who was sitting against the wall, playing with blocks. 

He didn't look to be any older than four, not even that. His hair was brown, short and cut nicely, but his eyes were cast downward, and couldn't be seen.

Sidney sat down in front of him, on the other side of the mound of blocks. “Hi,” he smiled, “I'm Sid.”

The little boy looked up at him, exposing the deep brown eyes Sidney hadn't seen yet.

The boy glanced around nervously, then locked eyes on someone behind them. Sidney turned to see one of the workers walking over with a clipboard.

“I see you've found Ryder.” The worker -- her name tag said April -- introduced, “He’s the newest addition to the orphanage. He’s still a bit shy.”

Sidney looked back at Ryder, who was content with building a big tower out of the multicolored blocks. Sidney picked up one one the blocks and held it out for him to take.

Ryder looked at him curiously, but took the block and attached it to a knob on the bottom layer.

Sidney glanced up at the woman. “How old is he?” 

“Two; he’ll be three soon, come June second.”

Sid nodded, but turned when he felt something hit his leg. Ryder had leaned over the blocks to pat his knee to get his attention.

“Eh, smart boy.” Sidney chuckled. “What can I do for you, little man?” 

Ryder took a block and handed it to Sidney. Sidney handed it back to Ryder, who grinned and put the block on the tower. 

Sidney laughed, and then Ryder giggled, which made April chuckle, and soon everyone in the corner looked like they came from an asylum.

Ryder crawled up Sidney and sat in his lap, then looked up at him unsurely. Sidney cooed down at him and handed Ryder one of the unused blocks. Ryder smiled again, flashing his baby teeth, and continued his work on the block tower. 

“He doesn't seem shy.” Sidney thought aloud.

“He usually is. You have to gain his trust. There's only been a couple people that have done that.”

“Well kids have always been great judges of character,” the hockey player smirked, “He’s very smart.”

April hummed. “Yes, he is, but he's a little slow when it comes to talking. He should be saying a good amount of words, short sentences by now, but all he can say is ‘yeah’ and ‘no’.”

Sidney frowned.

“We've got him set up with a speech therapist, but he’s barely made any progress.”

“He hasn't gained their trust, huh?”

“Not at all.”

Ryder grinned up at Sidney, oblivious to the conversation, and pointed at the tower. Then, he shrieked and knocked it down, smacking the pieces and giggling.

Sidney sat there, losing track of the time. He didn't know how long he was there, playing with Ryder, helping him build his towers, only to knock them down in a fit of excitement. 

He jumped half a foot in the air when a hand came to rest on his shoulder.

Sully stood behind him, smiling at Ryder, then looking at Sidney. “We've gotta go.”

Sidney frowned, “Oh. Uh, okay. Give me a second.”

Sully patted his shoulder and walked off to gather the rest of the team. 

Sidney exhaled and shifted Ryder off his lap, crouching in front of him. Ryder looked up at him, confused.

Sidney smiled at him. “I've got to go, bud. It was really nice meeting you.”

Sidney knew Ryder probably had no idea what he was saying, but he held out his hand anyway. Ryder put his little hand over Sid’s palm, and Sidney playfully shook it. 

He stood up, testing the waters to see what would happen. 

Ryder watching him curiously.

Sidney took a step backwards, and Ryder wobbled to his feet. 

April, bless her soul, was quick to notice what was happening, and hurried over to help.

Sidney ruffled Ryder’s hair and took a couple more steps backwards, then turned. In his peripheral vision, he saw Ryder toddle after him, but April picked him up.

The team left through the doors one by one. Sidney was last, and he heard Ryder crying as he closed the doors behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryder is already so precious, the small beannn


	3. A Day with Ryder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney decides to visit Ryder again, alone. Fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a shit ton of fluff in this chapter, so be warned.

Christmas was three weeks away. The team wouldn't be able to go home to their families -- unless they lived close by -- because they only had three days off, then a game on the twenty-seventh. 

Sidney sat on the couch of his mansion, very lonely.

He didn't know why it was such a problem. He's been on his own for years, ever since he left Mario’s and got his own place. He's had girlfriends live here, and secret boyfriends respectively, but they all ended up breakup up and leaving. It never really bothered him that much. 

So  _ why  _ was it bothering him  _ now _ ? 

He could go to the rink, get some practice in. But he just had practice this morning, and his legs were still a little sore. 

He could take a walk-

No, it was raining.

Video games?

Sidney didn't feel in the mood.

He bit his lip. Maybe he could go to the orphanage again. It would cause a scene, though, and he didn't feel like making sure seventy kids didn't jump out the window on his watch. 

Maybe he could ask to just see Ryder. That might work. 

With a nervous sigh, he gathered his coat and keys, tied on his shoes, and headed for his car.

When he got to the orphanage, it was pouring outside. He hurried into the building and shook, sending water droplets flying. 

“It sure is coming down out there,” April laughed from behind the counter, and when he took off his hood, she paused, “Mr. Crosby! What brings you back?”

Sidney fiddled with the zipper on his coat. “I was wondering if I could see Ryder again?”

April smiled softly. “Of course. I assume you want to stay on the downlow?” 

Sidney nodded gratefully.

“I'll go get him. You can head to the playroom if you'd like.” She disappeared up the stairs, and Sidney went to the playroom.

He turned off his phone.

He sat in the small, plastic chair, looking around to see what the kids here had to play with. Maybe he could donate some toys for them.

The door opened, and April came in with Ryder on her hip. “He woke up from his nap about ten minutes ago, so he might be a little sl-”

Ryder’s head shot up from her shoulder when he saw Sidney. He squealed, immediately reaching out for him. 

Sidney melted. 

April put him on his feet, and he rushed over to the hockey player excitedly. He put his small hands on Sid’s knees, grinning at him, then looking around for something to play with.

“Muh!” Ryder said, hurrying over to the box that held two hundred and fifty building blocks. 

“Oh dear.” April sighed.

Sidney laughed and knee-walked over to Ryder, helping him dump out all the blocks. Ryder jumped up and down happily and quickly got to work. 

“So, uh, do you know what happened to his parents?” Sidney asked, handing Ryder a block.

“His mother died in childbirth, and his father died in a car wreck a year later.” April told him, “He had no living grandparents or other relatives, so he came to the orphanage.”

“That's horrible.” Sidney frowned, but laughed when Ryder threw a block at his head. “Hey! Watch it, Mister.”

Ryder giggled.

Sidney spent the next hour and a half helping Ryder build towers, then knock them down.

Ryder eventually got bored of that. He stood up on his chubby little legs and went to another bucket. He pulled out a soccer ball and threw it across the room.

“Ba!”

He ran after it, picked it up, and gave it to Sidney. “Ba!”

“Ball?” Sidney asked, then rolled it away.

Ryder went after it and gave it back to Sidney, grinning. 

“Oh, you wanna play fetch,” Sid snorted, “Okay then.”

They played with the ball for a bit, until Ryder got tired of that, too. 

“I can put on a movie,” April suggested, and Sidney forgot she was there, “He loves Moana.”

“Does he?” Sidney chuckled, watching as Ryder pulled out one of those multicolored, fold-up tunnels. 

Ryder tore off one of the velcro straps keeping it folded, then another, then the last, and the tunnel swallowed him.

Ryder shrieked with glee.

Sidney laid on his stomach and fixed the tunnel so Ryder could crawl through it. He put his head at the opening and smiled at Ryder, who waved at him. 

Sidney came closer, sticking his head inside the tunnel. Ryder screamed and speedily crawled the opposite way.

“Hey, come back here!” Sidney called. He struggled to get through the tunnel with his shoulders and body mass -- fucking, ‘Glutes with Sidney Crosby’ would be pretty high-grossing if he made that. He army-crawled through it, worming his way through after Ryder.

Ryder took off when he escaped the tunnel, and Sidney was only halfway through. He huffed, but squawked in surprise when a little body fell on his back and his ass.

“Excuse me, good sir,” Sidney hummed, “but I do not think you should be back there.” 

Ryder tugged on the hem of Sidney’s shirt impatiently.

“Alright, alright, give me a second.” 

He shimmed his way out of the tunnel, and Ryder poked his head out from the other side, above the top of the opening.

On the television, where  _ Moana _ had been playing quietly, ‘Where You Are’ began to play. Ryder gasped and immediately started jumping up and down to the music. 

Sidney watched, a grin on his face, as Ryder danced around the room. When he song ended, he screamed, “ _ Yay _ ,” and started clapping.

Sidney mimicked him, clapping with him and cheering, “Yay!”

Sidney stayed the rest of the day, until visiting hours were up. 

“Why don't you stay with him until he falls asleep?” April suggested, “You won't have to leave with him wailing.”

Sidney sat down against the small couch against the wall. Ryder was crawling around lazily in the tunnel, so Sid grabbed the nearest opening and tugged it over.

Ryder cheered, enjoying the ride, and smiled up at Sidney through the opening. Sidney smiled back.

Ryder climbed up onto his lap and settled there, feet still in the tunnel, dangling off Sidney’s legs that were also inside the tunnel. 

Ryder slowly fell asleep watching the rest of  _ Moana _ , tucked in Sid’s arms.

“He’s really sweet.” The player said absentmindedly, stroking Ryder’s hair.

“Hm. Yes, he is, but only when he's comfortable. You should have seen him when you left a couple days ago. He pitched a fit.”

Sidney frowned, “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause any problems.”

“Oh no, honey, you didn't,” April assured, “Kids have meltdowns all the time after people leave. A lot of the younger ones get attached quicker. We’re trained to handle that.”

Sidney sighed and looked at the time on the clock. It was nearly seven at night.

“Woah, I've been here for seven hours.” He mumbled. “I should, uh, probably go.” But he didn't move.

April smiled at him. “I'll make sure he gets to his room.”

Sidney hesitated, before slowly transferring Ryder to April.

“Is it alright if I-uh, come back? Maybe not tomorrow but- soon? I have a few away games, but, uh-”

“Sidney,” April laughed, “You're welcome to come see him any time, alright? We'll keep the meetings strictly between you, Ryder, and us workers.”

Sidney sighed out in relief. “Thank you so much.”

He left, no matter how much he wanted to stay.


	4. He Should Have Thought This Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney adopts Ryder. He's in the middle of the store when he realizes he has no idea what to do.

He really shouldn't do this.

“So this is the paperwork you'd have to fill out,” the man told him, “Background checks and legal forms, things like that.”

Really, he shouldn't.

“This has the costs of what it will be, and the things you'd need if you were thinking about doing it.”

He really  _ really  _ shouldn't.

“Thanks so much.” Sidney breathed, and hurried out the door with his papers in hand.

Too late.

Sidney went to the bank and took out the the money he needed. He got home and put it in the safe, then started pacing.

Mario and Sully and the boards would flip if they found out what Sid was thinking, but, he couldn't just  _ tell them .  _ Nowhere in the rule book or player guidelines does it say he has to tell the owners if he were to adopt a child. That's his personal life. As long as it didn't interfere with hockey more than a biological child would, it was fine.

Sidney didn't want to think about leaving Ryder home during away games.

But that's not the point. Ryder wasn't even his yet; he still had do sign paperwork and pay and do all this stuff and his house wasn't even  _ ready _ , shit.

Shit shit shit, he can't do this.

○》-《○

It was his fourth visit when he finally snapped.

Ryder had pitched a fit when he left this time. He was screaming, crying, grasping Sidney’s shirt with everything he had.

The poor little guy had been asleep when Sidney first started leaving, but he woke up when Sidney left the playroom.

April kept him held back in the corner while Sid fled the scene, wincing when he heard a block hit the wall.

Ryder was screaming, sobbing, calling out, “No, no, no!” 

Sidney was three steps out the door, and he couldn't go any farther. 

He was at the peak of his career: captain, three Cups, still leading high in goals per season. He couldn't afford the risks. He wouldn't even have a partner to help.

He felt around in his pocket and  _ dammit , _ he left the papers in the car. He sprinted to his car and yanked open the door, scrambling to grab all the necessary papers.

He should have prepared for this more. He didn't have a single thing for a toddler, except a little baby bed for him, set up in the spare room.

He shouldn't do this, he shouldn't this,  _ he can't do this- _

Sid was back in the orphanage faster than he thought. April looked up at him, “Did you forget something, Mr. Crosby?”

He looked back at the toddler, still sitting in the corner, sucking on his fingers, bottom lip trembling. “Yeah. I forgot him.”

○》-《○

It took hours for the paperwork to be settled and signed, but Sidney wasn’t leaving the orphanage without Ryder.

At eleven forty-two at night, Ryder was officially Sidney’s son.

_ Fuck _ , what was he  _ thinking ? _

It was a little past midnight when Sidney stood in the middle of the grocery store lost as ever. Ryder was curled up contently in his arms, sucking on his fingers, leaning on his chest.

Geno has a son, maybe-

No, he'd be sleeping. Same with Tanger and the others. He could ask tomorrow, but he needed to get essentials now.

He was smart enough to know to get a carseat, but there were  _ tons.  _ Not to mention clothes, formula brands, he has to baby proof  _ everything _ -

He really didn't think this through. He should have waited until he was more prepared.

No turning back now, though.

Sidney thumbs through the contact list on his phone. He could call his mom-

No. Sleeping.

He's scrolling through the ‘T’s, thinking of calling Tanger, when he sees the contact labeled  _ Tazer _ . 

Tazer. Tazer has cousins, little cousins. He's had a little brother, knows what little boys like to play with. And yeah, it's midnight in Chicago, but, he doesn't have kids constantly waking him up, unless he's been keeping a secret family. 

Without a second thought, he hit the call button.

It took a few rings for him to pick up, but bless his soul, on the fourth or fifth ring, he heard a click and a very deep, very gruff, “ _ Wasaat? _ ”

Sidney sighed out in relief. “Thank God you answered.”

“ _ Sidney? _ ”

“Hey Taze. Listen, I know it's really late, or really early, or whatever, but-uh, something happened and I need your help.”

Ryder shifted in his arms. 

“ _ What happened? Are you okay? _ ”

“I- I think. You gotta promise to keep this to yourself. You  _ can't tell anyone _ _,_ alright?”

A pause. “ _ Yeah, man, yeah. I won't say a word. What a going on? _ ” He sounded very awake now.

Sidney took a breath. “I adopted a kid.”

There was a long pause before Tazer spoke. “ _ You- what? _ ”

“A kid. I adopted a kid. His name is Ryder. He's two.”

_ “ Sidney, what -” _

“Don't lecture me, alright? Just- I need your help. I don't know what to do. I rushed into adopting him and now I'm in the middle of the store at midnight with no idea what to get for him. All I have at home is a crib. Please help me.”

Tazer breathed out.  _ “ Okay man, don't panic, alright? I'll help you out. _ ”

They went through the list of toddler necessities; furniture, baby monitors, bottles (because some two year olds still drink from them, depending on age and mood), a car seat, stroller, clothes (for both now and in the future), shoes, diapers, and pull-ups. 

Tazer mentioned the kind of toys two year old's usually like, and Sidney picked those up. Ryder became more conscious as Sidney walked, and he looked around at all the toys. 

He saw a soccer ball on a shelf and reached out for it, still a little drowsy from sleep, “Ba.”

Sidney put it in the cart, and Tazer asked “ _ Was that him? _ ”

“Mhm.”

Sidney found the blocks and immediately got the biggest box of them -- there were four hundred for twenty dollars. Ryder would  _ worship  _ him.

“ _ Hey listen , _ ” Tazer cleared his throat, “ _ Don't give me any shit for this, alright? But- when my cousin was born, my aunt had this baby strap-on carrier thing. You'd put it on your chest and it held the baby there, so you could do stuff with both your hands and still have the baby close. I know the kid’s probably bigger than a newborn, but they make carriers like that for toddlers, I think until they're three. You can look for one of those. My aunt said it was nice, good for bonding or something.” _

Sidney smiled, “Thanks man, I'll totally look for that.”

Tazer hummed.  _ “ I think we've covered about everything. If you need anything, call.me, okay? And you've got Geno and the team. I'm sure Mario would love to help out with the kid. What's his name again? ” _

“Ryder.”

_ “ Well I wish you and Ryder the best of luck .” _

They hung up, and Sidney felt a lot better about his situation.

He paid for everything and pushes the cart to his car. He had to say, he was a little impressed with himself- he'd been holding Ryder since they got to the store and hadn't set him down once. He didn't realize how strong his arms were, yeesh.

Sidney took fifteen minutes to properly position the car seat correctly and secure it. He buckled Ryder up and took another five minutes to situate the mirrors so he could see Ryder and still see the road behind him.

“Wow. Alright. We’re doing this. I went all on, little man.” Sidney sighed, looking back from the driver's seat at Ryder, who'd dozed off, sucking his fingers. 

Sidney leaned back in the seat. Okay. He was doing this. He was going to be fine.

He would be fine.

○》-《○

Sidney didn't sleep that night.

He was up bustling around the his mansion, checking on Ryder every two seconds, organizing all the baby things. 

He started first by babyproofing everything. Baby locks on the cabinets, hid all the sharp things, it's a  _ mansion _ , God knows what Ryder could hurt himself on.

Then he went to rapidly texting Mario and Tanger and Horny and Duper and especially his family, to  _ call me as soon as you can. We have a situation. _

After that, he sat on the couch and put his head in his heads.

Breathe, Sid, breathe.

He checked the clock on his phone, it was nearly four a.m. Maybe he should try to get some sleep. He has practice in the morning-

_ Practice . _

Fuck, Ryder. How was he supposed to-

His phone started ringing, loudly at that, and Sidney scrambled to answer it before it woke up Ryder.

“Hello?” Sidney breathed.

_ “ Sid? _ ” It was Geno.  _ “ What wrong? Why you texting me in middle of the night about a situation? _ ”

“G, I- I did something, kind of stupid, but-but it's not bad. I just, I had to.”

“ _ Sid, you scare me. What happened _ _?_ ”

“I adopted a child.”

Geno was silent.

“ _ You fucking with me _ _…_ ”

“I'm not!” Sidney moaned, falling backwards on the couch, “I'm really not. When we went to the orphanage for the charity thing, I met this toddler. He was really shy but really sweet and he just- he like, adored me, G. He'd throw fits when I left. And then he had such a bad morning one day when I visited and then he was happy, but when I left, he freaked out so bad and I couldn't- I couldn't just  _ leave him _ _,_ I couldn't…”

He took a breath, shaky and unsteady. 

“So I adopted him. Today. It took hours for the paperwork to settle. I've been at the store all morning trying to get things for him. I called Jonny Toews, he helped a lot. I just- I know it was stupid to rush into all of this but I couldn't help it, I-”

“ _ Sid, Sid, calm down _ _,_ ” Geno hushed, “ _ I’m get it. Kind of. People get attached to kids like kids get attached to people. It part of being human. If one likes kids, of course. It just unbelievable. You adopted a kid. Woah. _ ”

Sidney chuckled weakly, “Yeah, I know. I haven't gotten any sleep, man. I've been too busy setting stuff up and baby proofing and shopping and worrying about Ryder.”

“ _ That his name? Ryder? How old is he? ” _

Sidney smiled small, “Two.”

Geno whistled. “ _ Anything I can do? ” _

“Is, uh, Anna working tomorrow morning- uh, I mean, later today?”

_ “ No, she off. Why? ” _

“I need someone to watch Ryder. I didn't even think of morning practices, especially right now. Do you think she could? I'm not hiring some random babysitter.”

_ “ I’m understand. I ask Anya when she wake up, but I'm sure she’ll be willing to help. ” _

“Thank you so much.” Sidney said, eyes watering with the sudden flood of emotions from everything that had happened today.

_ “ Always, Sid. And good luck at practice. I assume you telling Mario and the boards? ” _

“Yeah.”

_ “ Mario love you. You be fine. He be excited to have a sort-of grandbaby. ” _

Sidney smiled a little, “Yeah, let's hope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a long was chapter I'm sorry whoops


	5. Leaving Him Isn't Easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney has difficulty leaving Ryder with Anna. Luckily, there was early-morning fluff plus a clingy baby, so at least he has something to calm him down.

Sidney got a whole two hours of sleep before his alarm went off.

He was quick to turn it off as he got off the couch and hurried to Ryder’s room. 

There were boxes on the floor, and bags with baby things in it, ready to make the room how Ryder needed it to be, but not done at all.

He turned to the bed where Ryder was, found him sleeping peacefully in the tiny bed. 

Sidney crouched by the side of the bed and put his hand on Ryder’s back, slowly rubbing it. “Morning, little man. I need you to wake up for me.”

The toddler slowly opened his eyes, blinking blearily at Sidney. He pouted a little, from being forcefully woken up, and his lip trembled.

“No, no, don't cry honey,” Sidney cooed, picking the toddler up from the bed and holding him close, “You're alright.”

Ryder nuzzled his face into Sidney’s shoulder, hands fisting his shirt. Sidney carried him into the kitchen after dipping down to grab one of the three bags of clothes.

Sidney tried to put Ryder on the counter, but the boy whined and clung onto Sidney tighter.

“Oh okay. Clingy baby, aren't you?” Sid hummed, putting the bag down. “God, I'm exhausted. Let's see what I have for you to eat.” 

He opened the fridge, then the cupboard, balancing Ryder in his free arm. “Um, two years olds eat Cheerios, don't they? I think Jonny said something about that.”

He opened the box of Cheerios and grabbed a bowl, pouring some of the cereal into it. He held up the Cheerio to Ryder’s face, and Ryder reached out to wrap his chubby hand around it. He munched on it happily, whilst sucking his fingers.

“We’re gonna have to crack you of that habit, won’t we?” 

He closed the doors and went back to the counter. He set the bowl down, then carefully pried Ryder’s limbs from his body. Ryder instantly teared up, whining and whimpering as Sidney laid him down against the marble.

“Oh, hey, none of that,” the Canadian crooned, “I've gotta change you, little man. Then put you in some new clothes. I'm not going anywhere.”

Sidney made quick work of putting the kid in a fresh diaper and putting on whatever clothes he found in the bag.

The shirt was blue and said ‘I Moustache You for Some Hugs’, and the pants were khaki shorts, set with little Nike sneakers.

Sidney sat him up, and Ryder reached down, pulled off his right sneaker, and threw it. He did the same to the left.

“Not a big fan of shoes,” Sid said, “Duly noted.”

He picked Ryder back up and grabbed the bowl of Cheerios. He headed upstairs to his own room and straight for the bathroom.

“We’re gonna have to get you potty trained,” Sidney told him as he took off his clothes to hop in the shower, then paused, “Fuck, I can't watch you. Uh-”

Ryder looked up at him curiously.

Sidney groaned, “All that work for nothing,” and started stripping Ryder.

Then the boy was fully naked, he shrieked excitedly. Sidney rolled his eyes. “Boys.”

He started the water and stepped in, then held Ryder’s hands as the toddler carefully stepped into the glass shower.

Sidney closed the door, and Ryder took to the opposite corner to stare at Sidney.

“What're you staring at?” The elder boy teased as he made quick work of washing his hair and the rest of him.

When he was done, he washed Ryder, after cursing himself for not bringing the baby shampoos and soaps that Jonny was very adamant about using on Ryder.

“Don't know what I'd do without your Uncle Tazer.” 

When they were both clean, Sidney toweled them off and clothed them both.

“My duffel’s in the car, you don't wear shoes, what am I missing?” 

A baby bag.

“Oh for Heaven’s sake.”

Sidney spent the next half hour worrying over what Ryder needs and might need, putting in diapers, wipes, an extra set of clothes, a bag of Cheerios, and the toy phone he'd picked up.

He also took another carry-on bag and filled it with blocks and other toys and more blocks.

“Ooo.” Ryder cooed, looking down inside the bag.

“Okay, I think we’re set.” Sidney rolled his lips in thought.

He put the two bags on his shoulders, then picked Ryder up. He buckled him into the car seat and put the bags on the floor.

“See? It's not so bad. We’re naturals.” Sidney said to Ryder, who was sucking his fingers and staring out the windshield.

Sidney headed to Geno’s, and was suddenly filled with panic.

For one, he was about to leave his baby for three hours.

Two, Jonny knows, and now Geno knows, and soon the rest of the team will, and his family, and then the world.

Three,  _ he’s about to leave his baby for three hours. _

Sidney pulled into the driveway and sat there for a good five minutes. 

That is, until someone tapped on the window.

Sidney jumped and quickly rolled the window down. Geno stood there looking amused, Anna standing behind him with a reassuring smile.

“Hi.” Sidney wheezed. Then, he cleared his throat and hurried to get out of the car. “Uh, thank you for doing this, Anna. It's a huge help. I'm sorry for the late notice.”

“You are fine, Sid,” Anna cooed, “Zhenya took me by surprise when he say you get son. But I'm more than happy to help. Now, let me see the sweet baby.”

Sidney opened the side door, exposing Ryder still ducking his fingers in the car seat.

“He doesn't like shoes.” Sid said lamely.

Anna cooed. “Awe, he’s Nikita’s size. He precious.”

“Thank you.” Sidney blushed and unbuckled Ryder from the car seat. Ryder wrapped his little arms around Sidney’s back, staring at the Russians in curiosity.

“He's probably going to have a fit,” the captain frowned, grabbing the two bags, “He always does when I leave. I don't really know why.”

“He trust you most,” Geno scoffed, “That why. Like I'm say: Sid best.”

Sidney’s cheeks were hot. He handed Anna the bags and the three went into the house. Sidney hovered by the door nervously, still holding Ryder.

“He will be fine, Sidney,” Anna reassured, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder, “If anything happens, I will call you, da?”

Sidney exhaled, then nodded. He carefully handed Ryder to Anna. Ryder stared at her, suddenly uneasy, and looked back at Sidney. Sidney held his hand and kissed his chubby cheek.

“I'll be back as soon as I can.” He told the toddler. He kissed his forehead, then took a step back.

“We go before he pitch fit, yes?” Geno asked, duffel slung over his shoulder.

Sidney nodded nervously. “Yeah.” 

Anna started pointing things out to Ryder, to distract him away from Sidney, and Geno hustled Sid out the door. 

“You take my car. We carpool.” Geno told him, and the two slid into the car and drove off before Sidney could heard Ryder’s wails through the window.

Sidney clenched his hands together. “Is leaving always that hard?” 

Evgeni nodded. “Da. It never gets easier.”

Sidney rolled his lips. Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was actually so much fluff I'm shaking. And there's so much more to come, so much more fluff I've written. Oh my GOD


	6. A Fellow Canadian Friend is Always Nice to Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney tells Mario, the team, and his family about Ryder. He also has a two-hour long conversation with Jonny. 
> 
> All in all, it's a very eventful chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapters are so long oof

Sidney walked into the locker room, and immediately, Tanger was all over him.

“Oh praise God you're okay,” he breathed, “Your message made it seem like someone had died. Wait, did someone die?”

Sidney shook his head, “No, Kris. No one died.”

Tanger exhaled in relief. “Okay, then why the fuck did you text me at midnight saying there was a ‘situation’? What happened?”

Sidney scratched the back of his neck, while Geno sauntered off to his stall, whistling. Sidney glared at him. So much for backup.

“Yes, I’d like an enlightenment as well.” Mario said, walking into the locker room.

Sidney felt himself grow paler as the seconds passed. “I, uh-” he cleared his throat, “Mario, can I talk to you? In private?”

Mario raised his eyebrows in suspicion, but nodded and walked out of the room, into his office. Sidney hurried to follow. 

“Care to explain what's going o-”

“I adopted a kid.”

Mario blinked.

Sidney gulped. Might as well rip the band-aid off. “I adopted a kid. The one I was talking to at the orphanage for that charity event? Yeah. His name is Ryder. He's two. And-and I adopted him. He's my son now.”

Mario pinched the end of his nose, taking a deep breath in and a deep breath out. “Why…why didn't you ask? Why didn't you  _ tell _ anyone? Sidney, this is huge. This is a  _ child  _ we’re talking about.”

“I know!” Sidney defended himself, somewhat weakly, “I know. It was stupid, I know. I should have waited until the season was over, should have said something, should have  _ prepared  _ more. Dammit, Mario, I was in the middle of the store at  _ midnight  _ talking to Toews-”

“Toews?”

“-on what to do and what to get. I know, okay?  _ I know _ .”

Both men fell silent, and Sidney inhaled shakily. “He has trust issues. But-but he trusts  _ me _ . He'd throw tantrums when I would leave the orphanage, and I couldn't- it  _ killed  _ me, Mario. I never wanted to leave him. I've visited him four times since the charity visit. And I got everything I needed. I have it all. It might be hard but I can do it. I can't just abandon him, I-”

“I would never ask you to abandon him.” Mario interrupted, then sighed. “I'll talk to the others, PR, figure out what to do, how to tell the public. But you have to be sure, Sidney. You have to be in this for the long run. You can't just send him back if it gets to much.”

“I would  _ never _ .” Sidney squawked.

Mario leaned against his desk, arms crossed. “Alright, Sid. Just promise me, if you need help, you'll let someone know.”

“Of course.” The captain nodded quickly.

“Go get ready for practice. You can tell the team while they're dressing.” 

Sidney thanked him and went straight for the locker room again.

Telling the team was relatively easy, surprisingly. Tanger, of course, slapped Sid on the back of the head for being an idiot and making him worry, but soon, everyone was dressed and crowded around Sidney’s phone to see the pictures and videos Sidney had taken of Ryder at the orphanage.

Eventually, Sully got them all on the ice for practice. Sidney reveled in the peace, but couldn't help worrying about Ryder.

When practice ended, Sidney haphazardly tore off his pads and tugged on his normal clothes. 

He picked up his phone to put it in his pants, but it buzzed with a text message. It was from Anna, and he opened it quickly, suddenly panicked.

The panic went away when he saw the messages, pictures of Ryder sent to him to assure him that Ryder was fine. 

The first was about twenty minutes after Sidney and Geno left. Ryder looked like he'd been crying, but was sitting on the couch, curled up asleep, sucking on his fingers.

_ You were right. He threw a tantrum when you left. _ Was what she sent underneath it.

The next picture was half an hour after that, of Ryder and Nikita watching cartoons on the tv. 

The third picture was of Ryder outside, swinging on the swing set the Malkin’s had in their backyard.

The last was a video, twenty-two seconds long. It was of Ryder in Anna’s lap, facing the camera towards them.

“Say hello to Papa,” Anna said to Ryder, who was staring at the phone curiously, block in hand, “Or Daddy. Whatever he go by.”

Sidney smiled as Ryder went “Duh!” and watched as Anna said, “Can you say  _ previet _ to Sid.”

Ryder’s face instantly lit up and he squealed “Sid!”

The video ended there, and Sidney didn't realize he'd been crying until Geno nudged his shoulder and tapped his cheek. Sidney quickly wiped away the stray tear.

“Okay?” Geno asked.

Sidney nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, uh, Anna sent me a video of Ryder. He said my name. It's, uh, not much, but, he has a speech delay and isn't saying words correctly, so-”

“So he say your name over other words,” Evgeni deduced, “Happy for you, Sid. That good. You pick him up now, da?”

Sidney was bouncing his leg the whole ride home. When Geno finally pulled into the driveway, they found Anna sitting on the swinging bench on the porch, Nikita tucked under one of her arms, Ryder dozing against her other, holding onto a blue block.

Sidney hurried out of the car, and Anna nudged Ryder. “Look, there’s Sid. There's your Daddy.”

Ryder looked up. He saw Sidney jogging up the steps, and he grinned tiredly at him. He cooed, arms reaching out and leaning forward. 

Sidney took him in his arms, and Ryder wrapped his own chubby arms around Sidney’s back, squeezing in a hug.

“Hey, little man,” he whispered, rubbing Ryder’s back, “Were you good for Aunt Anna?”

“Boy, Sid, you were not wrong when you say he pitch fit when you leave,” Anna chuckled, shaking her head, “Cried himself to sleep. But Nikita help him calm down, with blocks you bring.”

“He loves blocks.” Sidney laughed, “Thank you so much for watching him. Are you ever free to watch him again? I don't want to leave him with a stranger as a sitter.”

“Of course! I’m free all Wednesdays and Saturdays, and Sunday mornings. Happy to watch him then.” Anna smiled.

Geno sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissing her cheek. Nikita crawled over his mother to get to his father, jumping into his lap.

Sidney yearned a little for a life like Geno’s.

Just a little, though.

Anna handed him the two bags. “Here you go.”

“Thank you again.” Sidney smiled, then turned to Ryder, “Can you say bye?”

Ryder turned his head to rest against Sidney’s shoulder. He was sucking his fingers contently, but held up his free hand, opened, closed his fingers, waving goodbye. 

Anna cooed.

Sidney made his way to his car that had been parked on the driveway all morning. He buckled Ryder into the car seat, shushing him when the toddler whined for him.

He started the car and waved to the Malkin’s as he pulled out of the driveway. 

Ryder was asleep by the time they got home, and Sidney made a mental note that it was around eleven in the morning when he needed naps.

It was difficult to juggle both of the bags while trying to keep Ryder asleep, but somehow he managed.

He was able to get Ryder into his bed when his phone rang.

“Hello?”

_ “Sidney? You said there was a situation. Are you alright?” _

Shit, it was his mother.

“Mom, hey. Yeah, I'm sorry. In hindsight, I probably should have said that nothing bad happened.”

He spent the next hour and a half telling his family about Ryder, insisting that  _ yes _ , everything was fine and Ryder was still breathing, and that he would send tons of pictures.

“ _ I wish we could come down for Christmas, _ ” his mother sighed, “ _ But we’ll see you when the season ends, right?” _

“Of course, Mom.” Sidney assured. “Ryder’s a little shy around new people, but he gets used to them pretty quickly.”

“ _ We can't wait to meet him. Call if you need anything, alright?” _

“Will do, Mom. Love you.”

_ “I love you too, honey.” _

Sidney decided to set up a bit in Ryder’s room, beginning to arrange things and place toys in boxes and put together a rocking chair. 

Ryder stayed asleep through it all, and Sidney took a picture.

Ryder was sucking on his fingers -- of course he was -- turned a little on his side, free hand clenched in a fist by his face. 

He decided to send it to a bunch of people, his family, Geno and Anna, Tanger, Mario, some of the guys, and-

And Tazer.

He got back numerous heart emojis and “aww how cute”s from recipients.

Tazer, however, called him in the middle of him typing a response to Geno’s “he’s plotting the world’s demise in his sleep”.

Sidney connected the call. “Uh, hey.”

“ _ Hey _ ,” Tazer breathed, “ _ That's him, huh? _ ”

“Yeah.”

“ _ How was your first day as a parent?” _

Sidney leaned back against the couch, “Yeesh. Eventful. I told Mario and the team, and my family. Nothing bad happened, which is a relief. But I had to leave him with Geno’s wife, Anna, for a couple hours for practice. I've only had him a day and it's already the hardest thing I've ever done.”

Tazer chuckled on the other end.  _ “I'm not surprised, man. Kids are something special. Once they're there, you don't ever stop worrying about them. It's how I was with my cousins, actually. _ ”

“So it never gets easier?”

“ _ Not in the slightest. _ ”

“Shit.”

Tazer laughed loudly. 

Sidney hummed. “So how've you been?”

“ _ Ah, uh, I’ll be honest: it's been better. _ ”

“Yeah? What's up?”

_ “Nothing, man. Just some stuff with Kaner. _ ”

“The guy you're madly in love with?”

“ _ I'm not in love with him. _ ” He paused. “ _ I used to be. That feeling’s going away now, especially with Kaner’s new girl. _ ” 

“Woah, really? Ouch. That sucks.”

Tazer chuckled dryly. “ _ I'm not drunk enough for this conversation. Let's change the topic. _ ”

Sidney found himself getting lost in ranting about the Flyers with Tazer, until he heard a cry come from the baby monitor. 

“Oh, hold on. Ryder just woke up from his nap.” Sidney went to Ryder’s room, seeing the toddler wiggling around in the bed, crying.

“Hey, what's the fit for?” Sidney hummed, hovering over the toddler, then picking him up. “Why're you mad?”

Ryder held onto Sidney and smacked his lips. “Om. Om om.”

“What's that mean? Are you hungry? Let's get you lunch.” Sidney picked the phone up from the floor, “Hey, sorry. I'm getting him lunch right now.”

“ _ Oh, I can go if you want-” _

“No, you don't have to. Double tasking is a skill all hockey players have, don't we?”

Tazer snorted.  _ “Most of us, only on the ice.” _

“Well I'm an exception here.” The elder laughed, then turned to Ryder, “You want a sandwich? I'll make you a sandwich.”

He put Ryder on his feet, and Ryder latched onto Sid’s leg. He looked around while Sidney got the stuff for a sandwich, and the kid took off, then came back with a big yellow block.

Sidney laughed. “This kid loves his blocks, let me tell you. You play blocks with him once and he’ll love you till the day you die.”

Tazer chuckled. “ _ Seems like the tyke’s got his priorities straight. _ ”

“He sure does.” 

When the sandwich was made, Sidney hoisted Ryder onto the counter and handed him one of the four pieces he'd cut. “Bite. Big bite.”

Ryder opened his mouth and let Sidney feed him, humming in confirmation that yes, this was a very good sandwich and he needed more.

“Can you say hi to Tazer? Say hi.” Sid put the phone up to Ryder, and Ryder bit at it. “Hey, no, don't bite the phone, silly. Sat hi.”

_ “Hi Ryder. _ ” 

Ryder blinked at the phone, then squealed, “Hai!”

Both players laughed.

“ _ I should let you go. We've got a game tonight and I have to track down Kaner _ .”

“He's MIA, eh?”

Tazer fell silent for a moment. “ _ Yeah, something like that _ .”

Sidney understood. “Well he’s missing out. This is quality entertainment right here. Hey, we should video chat soon. You can meet Ryder face-to-face.”

“ _ I'd like that, Sid. I'll talk to you later. _ ”

“Bye, Jonny.”

Sidney felt more at ease now than he had been all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jonny's gonna be a lot more constant now. He won't be in every chapter, but he'll be in most, up until the end of the season, where he'll be in every chapter.


	7. Speech Therapy and Video Chats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryder starts up speech therapy again, and Sid decides that it wouldn't be terrible if Jonny were to watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm rushing things, rushing updates and rushing their relationship. If you think I am, please let me know so I can adjust, or if you like it how it is :)

There was now a week until Christmas. Time was flying fast now that Sidney had Ryder, and he was extremely excited for his first Christmas with his son.

That's still so weird for him to say; son. He has a son.

He'd announced the adoption during an after-game interview, and all the questions of hockey quickly turned into questions on Ryder.

Sidney got in touch with the speech therapist that Ryder had been seeing in the orphanage. Her name was Kiki, a tall African American woman who was extremely nice, and very comforting to Sidney, because she was helping his son talk, and for some reason, Sid found himself very emotional about it.

Kiki, bless her soul, was happy to work around Sidney’s crazy schedule. They agreed to meet at Sidney’s house every afternoon on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every second Saturday.

Sidney didn't want anyone else present during the therapy sessions. Ryder was already shy enough around Kiki, and he still hasn't gotten used to others, even Anna and Catherine Letang and the Lemieux's, even as often as they watch the toddler or come to visit them.

Sidney wanted to be there for every session, so he arranged for afternoons Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every second Saturday -- so he could go to morning practice and night games -- if he was there. If he had an away game, they'd meet the afternoon he gets bac. If there was an afternoon game, they'd meet later that night.

Sidney was so very grateful for her patience and understanding.

Jonny had also been video chatting more. Sure, Sid had everyone on the team, all their families, everyone who worked for the Pens. But to have Jonny as support, his Olympic teammate, his Alternate, to know if anything happened, he had Jonny to fall back on, it was a huge comfort.

Sidney was getting ready for Kiki’s Thursday afternoon visit, when his phone rang. It was to ‘Chelsea Dagger’, which meant it was either Tazer or Sharpy-

No, Sharpy’s was ‘I Whip My Hair Back and Forth’.

“Hey, Tazer,” Sidney greeted when he picked up his phone, “What's up?”

_“Kaner’s out with his girl and I'm bored so I figured I'd call you and check up on Ryder.”_

“Wow, Jon, it's such an honor to know I'm who you call when you have no one else to hang out with.” Sidney snorted.

He could _feel_ Jonny’s eye roll.

_“Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, how are you and the little tyke doing? Got his Christmas gifts all wrapped up?”_

“Not just mine- my family and the entire Penguins family sent him Christmas presents. This kid has been with me for three weeks and he's already more loved than me.”

_“Um, obviously. He's so much cuter.”_

“So you admit I'm cute?” Sidney grinned.

Tazer huffed. _“Whatever you say, Crosby.”_

Sidney laughed. “Ryder’s playing in the living room right now. He's watching Moana while playing with these Mickey Mouse figurines Horny bought him.”

_“Woah, woah, is he sick? He's not playing with blocks.”_

Sidney walked into the living room to check on Ryder, who was contently sucking on his fingers while hitting one Goofy against the carpet, eyes watching the television intently.

“No, he’s Hulking out on Goofy like Banner did with Loki.”

Jonathan laughed loudly on the other line. _“Oh geez. Poor Goofy.”_

“Goofy’s a bear, isn't he?”

_“What? No! A-_ ” Jonny sputtered, _“Goofy’s a dog! Like Pluto.”_

“Put Plato’s a dog-dog. Like, acts like one. Goofy acts like Mickey and Daisy and the others.”

_“I-”_ Jonny paused to think. _“Look, I don't know how Walt Disney thought, alright? He was about as crazy as P.T. Barnum.”_

Sidney gasped. “Hey! Have you seen ‘The Greatest Showman’ yet? It’s about P.T. Barnum and it's _so good._ ”

They were able to gush about the movie for a few minutes before the doorbell rang.

“Shit,” Sid cursed, “I forgot about Ryder’s speech therapy session.”

_“Oh.”_ Jonny sounded put out, and something in Sidney’s gut twisted painfully at it, _“I'll let you go, then-”_

“No!” Sidney yelped, then cleared his throat, “Why don't you, uh, video chat? You can see Ryder’s therapy sessions. I'm sure he'd love to see you again.”

_“Are you sure? I know how much the sessions worry you with outsiders.”_

“But you're not an outsider.”

The doorbell rang again.

“I'm coming!” Sidney called out, hurrying to the door, then looked to the phone again, “I'm gonna hang up. Video chat me in five minutes, okay?”

Jonny said nothing for a moment, and then, _“Alright, Sid.”_

Sidney hung up and opened the door, smiling sheepishly at Kiki. “Sorry, I was on the phone. Come in.”

Kiki smiled at him. “Don't worry about it. Is Ryder ready?”

“As ready as a toddler can be.” Sidney chuckled. “Um, I hope you don't mind, but a friend of mine is going to video chat during the session. It'll probably make Ryder more comfortable.”

“Only Ryder, huh?” Kiki teased, sitting down in front of Ryder.

Sidney set up his laptop, sitting on the couch above Ryder. “Can you say hi to Miss Kiki?”

Ryder waved.

“Ah ah ah, what did we talk about,” Kiki tutted, pulling Ryder’s fingers from his mouth, “No fingers.”

Ryder whined and kicked his feet angrily.

Sidney went to scold him, but Kiki beat him to it, which is good, because Jonathan began to Skype him.

Sidney immediately clicked the accept button, and Jonathan’s face popped up on the screen. “ _Hey_.”

“Hi.” Sid breathed.

“Jonny, this is Kiki, Ryder’s speech therapist.” Sidney introduced, “Kiki, this is my friend, Jonathan.”

“Nice to meet you, Jonathan.” Kiki smiled, then turned back to Ryder.

“Kiki has more guts to tell Ryder no. She pushes him past his comfort zone.” Sidney explained to Jonny, having shifted the laptop to where he could see Sid, but also Ryder and Kiki on the floor.

Jonathan laughed. “Better her than me, man. I can't say no to the little man.”

The session lasted an hour, and Ryder was now able to say most of the animals in a children’s book called ‘What Does the Animal Say?’, and could say most of those animals’ noises. Jonathan had even pitched in to help.

_“Ryder. Ryder, what's a cow say?”_

Ryder shrieked happily, “Moo!”

_“Moo! That's right, bud!”_

“Saturday is the off day, so we'll work on starting to form sentences on Tuesday.” Kiki told Sidney as he showed her to the door.

Sidney opened the door for her. “Thank you again.”

“Sidney, you thank me every time,” Kiki lightly hit his shoulder, “It's my job, and I'm happy to help him.”

Sidney smiled gratefully.

Kiki nodded towards the living room, where Jonathan was talking Ryder through the laptop. “Invite me to the wedding.”

Sidney’s cheeks went hot. “What? It's- no. Jonathan and I are not like that, in any way.”

Kiki raised her eyebrows. “Maybe you think that, but honey, I've worked with you for two weeks, and in those two weeks, you haven't allowed anyone to be present during the sessions except us. And then you take a phone call from him one day and invite him in, and it's not a big deal at all?” She chuckled. “I'll see you on Tuesday, Mr. Crosby.”

She went down the steps with a wave, and Sidney shut the door in a daze.

No. She was wrong.

Sidney came back to the living room, finding Ryder babbling randomness at Jonny on the laptop.

“What's he saying?” Sidney laughed, sitting down on the couch.

Jonathan grinned, _“No idea.”_

Sidney hoisted Ryder into his lap, and the toddler giggled, looking up at Sidney. “Duh! Duh duh duh.”

_“Think he’s trying to say ‘Daddy’?”_

“I'll cry.”

Jonathan laughed through his nose, breathy and soft. _“Don't worry, I won't tell.”_

Sidney smiled, and Jonny cleared his throat. _“So listen, I wanted to ask something.”_

Sidney nodded for him to continue, and grabbed the orange block on the floor that that Ryder had begun to fuss over.

_“I know the Pens only have a couple days off for the Christmas break- what is it, three?”_

Sid nodded again.

_“The Blackhawks have six days off. We play a game tomorrow, then we’re off until the twenty-ninth. Well I was thinking, maybe I could come visit? You can totally say no, I know how particular you can be with superstitions and Ryder and you worry, I totally get that. But I just wondered-”_

“No! I mean yes, absolutely. Please come.” Sidney begged, then regained his composure. Then, of course, he blushed. “Ryder’s actually more comfortable around you than anyone else. Even Mario or Geno. I think it's because we talk pretty much every other day, and Ryder only sees Anna and Catherine for babysitting.”

Jonny cooed. _“Well, I'm honored to be ranked so highly with the little guy.”_

Sidney ruffled Ryder’s hair. “Think that's a good plan? You want Tazer to come visit?”

Ryder clacked the blocks in his hands together, babbling, “Puh. Puh puh puh puh puh.”

Sidney sighed out in mock exasperation. “I'm gonna take that as a yes.”

_“Good. I'll fly in around the twenty-second. I can grab a hotel and-”_

“Uh, I think not.” Sid scoffed, “You'll be staying here, no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it.”

Jonny smiled again, soft and with a small flash of teeth. _“Okay, Sid. Okay.”_


	8. On the First Day of Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny comes to Pittsburgh. Ryder is in a mood. Jonny comes to Pittsburgh. Sidney is overly exhausted. 
> 
> Oh, did he mention Jonny comes to Pittsburgh?

The day Jonny flew in, Ryder decided to be clingy, and refused to let Sidney be more than two feet away from him. He even refused to take his nap, making him extra cranky.

Jonny was courteous enough to get a flight that would get him to Pittsburgh around dinner time, so Sid could have his morning practice and Ryder’s speech session.

But Ryder was refusing to cooperate.

“Ryder, baby, you've gotta let me pack your bag.” Sidney sighed as Ryder came running after him, attaching himself to his leg. 

He toddler made grabby hands and cried until Sidney picked him up. He had to pack the baby bag one-handed, then wrestled Ryder into his car seat. 

“Ry, please stop,” Sidney begged, “We’re going for a ride, see? You're fine.”

Sidney drove to the airport and shot of a message to Jonny in warning that ' _ Ryder’s being clingy today, so I apologize for all the fits he's going to have.' _

A couple minutes later, while Sidney was carrying Ryder into the airport, Jonny replied, ' _ Don't worry about it. We all have days like those.' _

Sidney was blessed to have a friend so understanding. 

They waited for his plane to land, and Sid bounced Ryder on his knee while the toddler watched ‘Peter Pan’ movie clips on YouTube on Sid’s phone.

Sidney wasn't ashamed of having his son watch YouTube videos, or that Ryder knew how to work his phone better than Sid did. The videos calm Ryder down during his fits, and keep him quiet during important things.

There was a ding from his phone, and Sidney peeked at it. Tazer’s contact came up, with a message that said ' _ My plane just landed. I'll be out soon.' _

It took another fifteen minutes, and by then, Ryder had finally fallen asleep, but soon, Jonny was walking into view, suitcases and a duffel in hand. Sidney slung the baby bag over his shoulder and stood, Ryder in his arms, and hurried over to his friend.

The soft smiles or wide grins after his booming laughs, none of them compared to the large, beaming expression on Jonny’s face when he saw the two of them.

“Well, it's nice to meet the little dude in person.” Was what Jonathan greeted them with. “He's being clingy today, you said?”

“Mhm.” Sidney hummed, “He gets random days like this. They're a nightmare.”

“You'll wish you had more of them when he’s grown and off on his own.” 

Sidney made a wounded noise. “Don't make me imagine that.”

Jonathan cooed, “He's all tuckered out.”

“It's the first time he's slept all day,” Sid sighed, “He refused to go down for his nap, not for Anna, not for me.”

Jonathan squeezed Sidney’s shoulder. “You look tired as hell.”

Jonathan chuckled. “We should get out of here before any press or paparazzi find us.”

Sidney nodded quickly and shooed them along. It was nearing seven at night and he was sure Jonny was starving. Not to mention, Ryder was  _ finally  _ asleep, which meant he could get some stuff for the upcoming games done. 

Jonny put his bags in Sid’s car while Sid buckled Ryder up into the car seat.

The men slid into the front seats, and Sidney turned to Jonathan. “Thank you for coming. Really, you could be with your family, but you're here, helping me out.”

Jonathan ruffled Sidney’s hair. “We both work ourselves to death, and now you have a kid to look after. It's good for both of us.”

Sidney smiled and put the car into drive, rolling out of the parking lot. 

○》-《○

“The guest room is upstairs, to the right, at the end of the hall.” Sidney told the Hawks captain when they walked into the mansion, Christmas lights from the bushes outside shining in through the windows onto the floors and walls.

“I’ll be right back.” Jonny said, then disappeared up the stairs. 

Sidney laid Ryder in the travel bassinet/changing station/playpen that his mother sent him --  _ praise her. _ He took off into the kitchen, trying to figure out what he could make for them for dinner.

There was chicken he could grill, but that seemed like such a tiring task. 

He could make them salads, but that's not much of a dinner. 

Ramen?

God, he was exhausted.

He heard Jonathan walk into the kitchen, so he asked, “What were you thinking for dinner? I have stuff for the rest of the week, but I completely spaced about what to do tonight.”

“I figured we could just order some Chinese or something,” Jonny replied, closing the fridge door, “I'm paying.  _ You _ are either going to go lay down and sleep, or sit on the couch out in the living room and relax. You look like you forgot sleep was a thing.”

Sidney rubbed his face. “Today’s just been so tiring. Ryder was in one of his moods to add on to the clingy thing. It's not like I  _ mind  _ him wanting to be around me, but-”

“You don't have to explain why you're tired,” Jonny told him, earnestly, “You've got a two year old, you're a single parent, and you've had him for, what, nearly a month? Go lay down somewhere. Please.”

Sidney went to respond, but Ryder made a noise from the living room. He must have realized Sidney wasn't nearby. He whined, before starting to cry.

Sidney cursed in French, a feat he doesn't do often. “Ryder, baby, I'm here.” He called out, jogging to the playpen.

Ryder had stood up in the playpen, shaking the railing, upset. He saw Sidney and immediately reached up for him, crying, “Duh! Duh duh duh.”

Sidney lifted him from the playpen and held him close, shushing him quiet. Ryder sniffled and bunched up Sid’s shirt in his little hands. 

Jonny cooed. “Poor little fella. You just want your daddy, huh?”

Sidney turned to where Ryder would be able to see Jonny from where his head was laying on Sid’s shoulder, fingers sucked into his mouth. 

Jonny smiled at him, “Hey, buddy.”

Ryder cooed back at him, pulling his fingers from his mouth to press his hand against Jonny’s cheek. “Puh.”

Jonny sighed playfully. “What are we gonna do with you.”

Ryder snuggled into Sidney, content.


	9. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Sidney's first Christmas with Ryder- and with Jonathan. It goes better than he thought it would.

Christmas came quickly after that. Sidney didn't realize how nice it was to have an extra hand to help with Ryder. 

For the week, Jonny was watching him while Sid went to the few practices and games before (and eventually after) the three day holiday.

Jonathan was also able to help set up the rest of Ryder’s bedroom. Sidney had finished most of it, but Jonathan reorganized some things, set up the television and DVD player, and bought him a handful of DVDs.

Soon, the Pens were on break, and Sidney was happy to sleep in until ten in the morning.

Oh, that's another thing Sidney could do with Jonny there. He could  _ sleep. _

If Ryder fussed, Jonny was more than happy to tend to his every need and let Sidney stay in bed. At first, Sid was nervous, because if Ryder wanted Sidney, he would pitch a fit until he got what he wanted.

Luckily, though, Ryder seemed more than happy to bask in the undivided attention Jonathan was giving him. 

Christmas Eve came around, and Sid was cleaning up the dishes from dinner. When Ryder had finished eating, he demanded it was time to play again, so Jonny had let Ryder drag him into his bedroom. Sidney watched them go with a laugh and starting clearing the plates.

When everything was in the dishwasher and all the pots and pans had been cleaned by hand, he went off in search of his son and his friend.

They were still in the bedroom, with Moana playing on the television. Ryder was settled in Jonny’s lap while Jonny read ‘The Night Before Christmas’ to him. Sidney stayed hidden by the doorway, watching.

Ryder was nearly asleep, sucking on his fingers, cuddled up against Jonny’s firm chest. 

Jonny finished the book and closed it, putting it to the side. He carefully picked up the toddler and laid him on his bed. Ryder whined, wiggling around, but Jonathan shushed him, cupping his hand above his eyes so light and other objects didn't detract him.

“Shh, you're alright. Go to sleep.” Jonny whispered, free hand coming to rest against Ryder’s leg.

Ryder let out a small noise and stilled, deep breath in, deep breath out, deep breath in-

And he was out.

Jonathan carefully covered him with his blanket, then slowly backed out of the room. Sidney wasn't able to move fast enough and Jonny crashed right into him.

The taller man gasped, and Sidney’s hand shot out to cover his mouth. They walked backwards away from the doorway, before hurrying through the hall and down the stairs.

Jonny wheezed out a laugh, as quiet as he could. Sidney smiled.

“Thanks for putting him to bed,” he said earnestly, “It's been quite a week.”

“And we’re only halfway through it.” Jonathan chuckled.

Sidney punched his shoulder. “Whatever, Toes. I'm going to bed."

Jonny nodded. “Yeah, sounds nice. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“You too, Jon.”

They parted ways, Jonny to the guest room and Sidney to his. 

Ryder slept through the whole night that night.

○》-《○

Christmas morning arrived, and Sidney was met with blissful silence.

He was able to relax for a few moments, before he remembered that silence wasn't always a good thing.

Sidney got out of bed and hurried down the stairs. He made it to the living room and stumbled to a halt.

Ryder was dragging Jonny around by his index finger, in nothing but a diaper, clutching something red in his free hand, and Jonny was shirtless.

Jonathan jumped a little when he saw Sidney, and he smiled sheepishly, “He stole my shirt.”

Sidney-

Sidney didn't really mind.

He laughed, catching the attention of Ryder. The toddler lit up when he saw his father and squealed, running over to Sidney, shirt and index finger left behind.

“Duh duh duh duh!” He babbled, arms up and out as he toddler over.

Sidney scooped him up. “Hi, baby. Are you having fun with Jonny?”

Ryder giggled and patted Sidney’s face. 

Jonny tugged on his shirt. “Good morning. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Sidney greeted. “Has he eaten yet?”

“I made some eggs and bacon, but he didn't eat much of it.” Jonny nodded to the coffee table, where a small plate of food was sitting.

“Why don't we eat, and we can call our families. Then we can let him open presents."

Jonny nodded and went to the kitchen to make them each a plate while Sidney started feeding Ryder pieces of scrambled eggs. 

He pulled out his phone and held it away from the toddler when he reached for it. He dialled his mother’s number and waited as it rang.

_ “Hello?” _

“Hi. Merry Christmas, Mom.”

_ “Oh, Sidney! Merry Christmas to you too, honey. How's everything down there?” _

“It's good,” Sidney smiled, “Ryder’s been awake for hours, apparently. How're you guys doing? Is Taylor with you?”

_ “Yes, she's currently trying to wake up your father. Your first Christmas with Ryder is going good, then?” _

“Yeah. Uh, you remember Jonny Toews, right?”

His mother hummed in thought.  _ “He was one of your Alternates in the Olympics, was he not?” _

“Yeah, that's him. He's been helping me out since I adopted Ryder. He, uh actually flew up to spend Christmas with us. He’s got nearly a week off and came to help out.”

His mother made a surprised noise.  _ “Really? Well, I didn't expect that. That's very nice of him. He's doing alright?” _

“Oh yeah. He's a natural with kids- somehow. Ryder loves him already.”

_ “That's good. You tell him I said thank you. That boy was always so sweet.” _

Sidney smiled. “Yeah, he’s been a huge help.”

_ “Well, you should go and spend time with them. It's his Christmas, too.” _

“I know, Mom. Merry Christmas. Tell Dad and Taylor I said hello.”

_ “I will, sweetie. Merry Christmas.” _

He hung up, then finished feeding Ryder. He picked up the plate and wandered to the kitchen, Ryder trailing behind. 

Sidney ended up walking in on Jonny calling his mother. It must have been ringing, because Jonny tilted the receiver away from his face and said quietly, “Bacon’s in the plate over there; there's the eggs you like in the pan.”

His head suddenly snapped back to the phone and he smiled, “Allo, Maman.”

Sidney fixed himself a plate, Ryder clutching Sidney’s pajama pants.

“Merry Christmas to you, too. I miss you, too. How're you doing?”

Sidney tried not to eavesdrop as Jonny walked into the other room, still able to hear their conversation. Or, what Jonny was saying.

“I know, I'm sorry. No, he’s fine, but I'm glad I came. He seems so tired.”

Sidney blushed because they were talking about him, and Jonny hadn't mentioned during the phone call that he was at Sidney’s, which meant that they’d talked about Jonny coming here before. 

“Ryder’s adorable, Maman;  _ il est un petit prince.” _

Sidney’s French was a little rough, but he got the gist that Jonny called his son a small prince.

Sidney picked up Ryder and put him on his hip. “You're a prince, did you hear that? Jonny called you a prince.”

Ryder squealed as Sid tickled him.

Jonny talked to his mother a little longer before they hung up. Sid walked back into the living room with Ryder. “Everything okay?”

Jonny smiled, “Everything’s perfect.”

They helped Ryder open his gifts, the ones from Sid, his family, the team, and even some from Jonny.

“You got him a box of  _ four hundred blocks?” _ Sidney gaped, “Jesus Christ, my floor is going to be submerged.”

Jonny had  _ also _ gotten him a toddler TOEWS 19 jersey.

“You're sick.” Sidney bared his teeth.

Jonny fell back onto the couch, laughing.

They spent the day watching marathons of Christmas movies, eating what was supposed to be dinner, that turned into snacks spread throughout the entire day.

Ryder fell asleep early, around eight thirty, opposed to his nine thirty.

Sidney was dozing on the couch, Jonny awake next to him, with Ryder nestled in between them.

Jonny grabbed the blanket that was folded across the arm of the chair. He draped it over Ryder and Sidney, then over himself, turning the volume on the television down.

Jonny brushed the stray hairs out of Sidney’s eyes, and whispered, “Merry Christmas, Sidney.”

He put arm across the back of the couch, behind Sidney’s head that was tilted to his chest. Sidney hummed and leaned in against his arm, against his touch.

“Merry Christmas, Jonathan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Squeeeeee I love writing about sleepy cuddles and sleepy babies and sleepy everythingggg


	10. Send Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day before Jonny leaves, he goes to one of Sid's games. This chapter is basically Sid being smug about beating Jonny's hometown team ft. sleepy Jonny being taken care of by Sid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi let's gush in the comments about how frEAKING PRECIOUS AND GORGEOUS ANNA IS?? PLEASE??

Jonny was scheduled to leave on the afternoon of the twenty-eighth, which was tomorrow.

Sidney had a game tonight, which meant he wasn't going to get much time to spend with Jonny before tomorrow, and that really sucked, in his opinion. 

“Has he ever gone to a game?” Jonny asked that morning, while Sidney got ready for morning practice. 

Ryder had been in a bad mood when he woke up, deciding to the clingy again.

However, it surprised Sidney to find that Ryder was clinging to Jonathan.

“A few,” Sidney replied, handing Jonny a bottle with regular milk in it, “Give him this. Sometimes he gets fussy like this really early or really late.”

“Aw, he's still a baby,” Jonny crooned, smiling when Ryder eagerly took the bottle and started drinking it, “Why don't I take him to the game tonight? I'm sure he’d love that.”

Sid looked at him in surprise. “Really?”

Jonny hummed. “Besides, I've never been to a home Penguins game when I'm not playing. And you're playing the Jets. I can't miss it.”

Sidney grinned. “Yeah? Are you sure? I mean, it's a clingy day. And it'll be out in public-”

“Stop panicking,” Jonny rolled his eyes, “You get ready for practice. I'll take care of the little man.”

Sidney beamed.

○》- 《○

Sidney stepped out on the ice, ten minutes before the game started, and took a lap around the rink.

He searched the stands, the family box, and found Jonny -- wearing a damn Jets jersey, the asshole -- sitting next to Anna. Nikita was on her lap, and Ryder was on his. He was bouncing the toddler on his knee, and Ryder was grinning out at the ice, happy and content with everything that was happening.

Jonny spotted him on the ice, and he waved. He nudged at Ryder and pointed to the ice, saying something. Ryder struggled to see where he was pointing, but then saw Sid, and squealed loudly.

Sidney tapped against the glass, and Ryder slammed his hands against it. 

Sid skated off to get ready for the National Anthems, and Geno nudged him.

“Never tell me Jonny come to game.”

Sidney shrugged. “I didn't think I needed to. He just came to help out, and to see Ryder.”

“Ryder seems to like him.” Geno teased, “Something you not telling me, Sid?”

Sidney shoved him a little. “Hush. No, Jonny came to help. Yeesh, you and Kiki, what, do you have some conspiracy theory going on?”

Geno grinned, “Maybe me and Anya.”

Sidney rolled his eyes.

“And Tanger.”

“Fuck off, G.”

Geno just grinned wider. 

○》- 《○

Sidney was probably too smug when the team piled onto each other after winning to the Jets. They skated off the ice, and Sidney high-fived his team. He caught eyes with Jonathan, and he smirked. Jonny just rolled his eyes with a smile and flicked him off.

“Not in front of my son, you asshat!”

Jonathan threw his head back in laughter. 

It took another hour to get dressed and packed, and Sid completely ignored the wolf whistle Geno let out as he walked off after announcing, “I gotta get home to Jonny and Ryder.”

He absolutely did not blush. Not at all, fuck you, Tanger.

By the time he pulled into the driveway of his house, it was nearing eleven thirty. He opened the door and stepped inside, finding the lights off and the house quiet.

But, there was a light coming off the television in the living room, Moana turned onto a level three volume. The crab was beating up Moui.

Ha.

Except-

Except Jonathan was passed out, leaned up against the front of the sofa on the floor, knees bent, head lolled to the side. Ryder was settled in between his legs, also fast asleep, with Jonny’s arms wrapped protectively around him. 

Sidney’s breath caught. 

He took a picture, because how could he not? He pocketed his phone and slowly walked forward, leaning through Jonny’s legs. He carefully picked up Ryder, pressing him to his chest and shushing him quietly.  

“Let Jonny sleep.” He whispered, walking up the stairs.

“Puh.” Ryder whined sleepily, arm extended past Sid’s shoulder, as if reaching for Jonny.

“You'll see him tomorrow.” Sid mumbled, putting Ryder in his bed. 

Ryder kicked at him, upset, but was too tired to fight back. Sidney stayed with him for the four minutes it took for Ryder to fall back to sleep. Then, he went back downstairs to tend to Jonny.

Jonny hadn't moved, not in the slightest. Sidney shook his head, a little fondly, and knelt next to him. Sid wrapped Jonny’s left arm around his shoulders, gently nudging him awake. 

Jonny made a garbled noise, and Sidney laughed to himself. 

“Come on, big guy. Let's get you to bed.”

He supported most of Jonathan’s weight as he hoisted the taller man to his feet, dragging him up the stairs.

Jonny yawned. “Mm, Ryder-” 

“Is already in his bed. Time for you to do the same.” Sidney interrupted him, opening the door to the guest room.

He laid Jonny in the bed, and the poor guy was out like a light the moment his head hit the pillow. Sidney covered him up with the duvet and turned off the lamp.

Sidney hesitated, before running his hand through Jonathan’s hair, just once. But Jonathan seemed to subconsciously lean into it, in his sleep, and let out a small sigh of contentment. 

Sidney smiled, “Goodnight, Jonny.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geno knows what's up


	11. Home Sweet Chicago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonathan returns home, to find Kaner on his couch, angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of angst here, but Kaner's a good guy I promise

Jonathan would never admit it, not to anyone, that the moment he stepped on the plane, his eyes filled with tears.

Jonny’s flight got delayed a couple hours, so the flight ended up being scheduled for seven at night. Sidney had driven him to the airport, relieved there wasn't a practice or therapy session to interfere, and that they had gotten a few extra hours to spend with each other.

"Can you give Jonny hugs?” Sidney asked Ryder, “Give him hugs.”

Ryder grinned and leaned forward Sidney’s arms, hugging Jonny around his neck tightly.

Jonny cooed and rubbed his back. “I'll miss you too, buddy.”

Ryder hugged Sidney next, making both men laugh.

Jonny hugged Sid, said goodbye. Sidney had to hug with one arm, but he managed, held Jonny close and squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to let him go.

Jonny ducked his head down, pressing his face into Sid’s shoulder.

“You be careful, okay?” The brunet mumbled, “Don't overwork yourself, and call me if you need _anything_. It doesn't even have to be about Ryder. Just call every once in a while to check in. Though I'll probably do that myself. Uh-” He paused and pulled back, a pink blush dusting his cheeks. “Sorry. I'm rambling.”

“Never pegged you as a rambler.” Sid teased, then took a deep breath. “Thank you so much for coming. You've done so much and have been such a huge help.”

“You know I'll fly in, in a heartbeat if you need me.” Jonny told him, “Anything, I promise. I'll be there.”

“Thank you.” Sid whispered, suddenly not being able to find his voice.

Jonny didn't sound much better.

His flight was called over the speakers, and Jonny had that look, a look that said he was three seconds away from burning his ticket and staying put.

Sidney felt a little guilty for wishing he would.

But only a little.

“Call me, all the time. Video chat. Send pictures. Everything.” Jonathan reminded, then finally started moving. He grabbed his carry-on and gulped. “I'll see you later, Sid.”

“See you later, Tazer.”

Jonathan cracked a weak smile, and walked down the tunnel.

Sidney watched as his plane took off, Ryder held tight in his arms, and he sat there for God-knows-how-long after the plane was long gone, wishing for the first time ever that he didn't have a team to lead.

○》- 《○

Jonny’s flight got in around eight forty. It took another thirty minutes to get his bags and go through security, find his car, and by the time he got home, it was a little past ten o’clock.

Jonny texted Sidney the moment his plane landed, and the moment he got home. Sidney always worried when it came to people traveling, especially Jonny in Chicago, so he was relieved to hear the man had survived the trip.

Jonathan entered his condo and threw his bags by the door. He flipped on the lights and promptly tripped over his feet when he saw Kaner sitting on the sofa.

“What- what are you _doing_ here?” Jonny breathed, “You almost gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“Why haven't you been answering my messages?” Kaner asked instead of answering, standing up, “According to every hockey media outlet _in existence,_ you've been in Pittsburgh for the last week.”

Jonny straightened and glared. “Yeah? So what?”

“So what? You've never not gone home for Christmas. Even when we only had two days off.” Kaner scoffed, “Why the hell did you go to Pittsburgh?”

“I wanted to meet Sidney’s new son. He adopted him, remember? I helped him out with some baby stuff and I wanted to meet the kid.” Jonny defended, and a sudden surge of anger flew through him so fast, it made him dizzy. “Why do you care what I do?”

“Crosby? You went to go see Crosby?” Kaner gawked incredulously, “What, are you two a thing?”

Jonathan blushed a little, but the pure rage surging through him covered it up quick. “What the fuck, Kaner? Where did that come from? Why does it matter?”

“You are, aren't you?” Kaner huffed, “I knew you were gay!”

“I'm not fucking gay, shut up,” Jonny snapped, shoving at Kaner, “Sidney is my friend, was my captain, and he needed some help.”

“Why the hell didn't you tell me you liked Crosby?” Kane questioned, ignoring most of Jonny’s previous explanations completely, “I'm your best friend, man. This is huge! What's the media going to say?”

Jonny was suddenly very overwhelmed.

“I never said anything because I used to like _you,_ you fucking asshole!” He shouted, and Kaner paused, “But you were so obsessed with your girlfriend, you couldn't spare me a single fucking glance to even notice. So I'm sorry if I didn't tell you. I didn't want to ruin a good friendship- fucking, I don't even know what this is anymore, you don't even talk to me anymore.”

Jonny huffed, and then dropped his head at the shock on Kaner’s face.

“You don't have to worry about me liking you.” The captain said quietly, “I knew you'd never reciprocate. You pushed me away and my feelings for you are gone now. Sid and I- it doesn't matter, alright? He's straight and has a son. He’ll get back on his feet and find a woman who he deserves. My stupid crush on him doesn't mean anything, okay? They never go anywhere. They don't matter.”

Kaner’s face softened. “Tazer, I didn't mean- I’m sorry man. I-”

“Don't, it's fine, you didn't- you had no way of knowing.” Jonathan sighed, “Can you promise me that this won't fuck up our friendship? You've got your girl and I'm fine with that. My feelings-”

“Are gone. I know, Jon. I can see,” Kaner reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “You've fallen head-over-heels for Crosby.  In just a week, too. That's gotta be a new record.”

Jonathan kept his eyes locked on the floor under his feet. “Yeah.”

“Hey,” Kaner nudged his shoulder, “You, me, Sharpy, Seabs, to the bar tomorrow after the game. We can talk and have some guy time, okay?”

Jonny nodded weakly.

“I'll see you tomorrow,” Kaner said, “And for the record, you and Crosby would go good together. You're both stubborn as shit and overwork yourself.”

Jonny smiled a little, “You should have seen him when I got there. He was dead on his feet. Ryder means a lot to him.”

“You'll have to show us pictures,” Kaner smiled back, “Tomorrow. I'll pick you up.”

He left, then, leaving Jonny alone in his apartment, suddenly extremely aware how much he wished Sidney and Ryder were there with him.

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know how my update schedule might vary. Yesterday, I got the news that my cousin was hit my a train and killed in a subway station in New York. I don't know if we're going up to visit or what, but It's all very sudden and shocking. But I'll try to get an update to you guys soon.


	12. Patience is a Virtue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three months pass and the Blackhawks play the Pens. You can guess who comes knocking on Sidney's door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in a day or two, I'm going on a 12 hour drive to see my family for the funeral for my cousin, so I should have time to pump out at least one or two chapters.

The New Year came and went.

Kaner acted normally, like their conversation that day never happened, and Jonny was forever grateful for that.

He felt empty, waking up half an hour before his alarm on instinct, as if he were still waking up to help Sidney with Ryder. 

He ended up turning off his alarms. He didn't need them anymore. 

Christ, he'd only been there for  _ six days. _ What was happening?

Meanwhile in Pittsburgh, Sidney was no better.

Ryder was acutely aware that Jonny wasn't there anymore, no longer showering him with attention and Lucky Charms. The first three days were actual  _ hell _ , because Ryder wouldn't stop pitching fits, crying for “Puh,” and bringing Sidney near tears four to five times a day.

Eventually, around the fourth day, he calmed, realizing his fits weren't going to help. He took solace in his father, and Sidney was happy to hold him as close as possible at midnight in the master bedroom, feeling very very alone.

Months went by, and Sidney came to the full realization of just how much of a help Jonathan was.

They talked on the phone, on Skype, let Jonny talk to Ryder and watch him build a block tower.

_ “Wow, Sid,” _ Jonny said, on one video chat,  _ “You're floor is almost missing.” _

There were blocks  _ everywhere. _

“At least they're not legos.” Sidney shrugged.

Through the speakers, he heard Jonny knock on something,  _ “Don't jinx it.” _

January turned February, February turned March. 

And then the Blackhawks played the Pens at home.

It was the last game they'd ever play together this season, unless they both made it to the Cup Final.

To Sidney’s surprise (and frankly, his joy), Jonathan showed up on his doorstep the night before the game, already dressed in those pajamas, red and black plaid pants that tie in the front, and a white shirt with red shoulders and sleeves that made him look so fucking soft, minus the black shoes on his feet.

“You're wearing Converse?”

Jonathan rolled his eyes. “That's what you start with?”

Sidney grinned, suddenly very relaxed in the presence of his friend. He tugged Jonny inside and shut the door.

“Ryder’s in his bedroom.” Sid told him. “He's watching Moana.”

Jonny rolled his eyes fondly. “What else would he be watching?”

He led Jonathan to Ryder’s room, and the two hovered in the doorway until Ryder noticed them. 

When he did, the toddler lit up immediately. 

He actually screamed.

Ryder got to his feet and ran over on his chubby little legs. He attached himself to Jonathan in an instant, bouncing up and down happily while saying, “Puh, puh, puh,” over and over.

Jonny picked him up and swung him around and tickled him and kissed him and Sidney was filled with so much joy his chest hurt.

Ryder’s happy giggles rang through the hallway, and Jonathan cradled him. “Oh, I missed you so much, buddy.” 

He looked up at Sidney, “I missed you, too.”

Sidney smiled at Jonny, and Jonny smiled back, and the three stood in the hallway like that, losing track of time. 

Jonny and Sid ended up moving to the couch to talk. Ryder eventually fell asleep in Jonny’s big arms, but Jonny made no move to put him down.

“I figured I'd drop by,” Jonathan told the oldest, “seeing as it's been three months since I've seen you two in person.”

“Well I'm glad you did.” Sidney reassured him, “Ryder missed you heaps when you left.”

Jonny quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “Only Ryder, eh?”

Sidney blushed and looked away.

“Do you need to be at the hotel tonight?” He asked after a moment.

Jonny shrugged. “A lot of guys go out and stay with people they know when they visit places. Technically, we  _ shouldn't, _ and we probably aren't allowed to, but no one stops us.”

Sidney smiled. “Cool. Well, then, do you want to stay the night? It’s already late.”

“I don't want to be a burden, Sid.” The other frowned.

Sidney promptly hit Jonathan on the back of his head. 

Jonny pouted.

It made the scar on his upper lip more emphasised.

What.

Sidney blinked. “No. You're not a burden, man. I'm asking you to stay tonight.”

Jonathan looked at the clock, then smiled. “Sure, Sid. I’d love to.”

(After they put Ryder in his bed, Jonny tried to head to the guest room. Sidney promptly pulled Jonny into the master bedroom with him. Neither said a word about it, nor when they woke up the next morning, limbs tangled together.)

○》-《○

The Blackhawks beat the Pens in overtime.

Jonathan tripped when he saw Ryder wearing the TOEWS toddler jersey he’d bought for him for Christmas.

Sidney laughed at him as the teams were starting to file off the ice. He held Jonny to his feet, and Jonny shoved at him. “You’re mean to me.”

Sidney shoved back at him with a grin.

One of the refs started skating over, thinking he was gonna have to break up an after-game fight, but stopped when the two of them hugged and started skating off the ice together. 

“My flight leaves tomorrow morning.” Jonny told Sidney.

“Do you want to grab dinner? Ryder and I usually grab something to eat on our way back from home games. But, since we have a guest…”

Jonathan grinned. “Sounds great. I'll wait for you outside your locker room?” 

“Perfect.” 

The boys fist-bumped like the losers they are, and skated to their respective tunnels.

They each got shit.

Kaner whistled at Jonny when he walked into the locker room. Jonathan flipped him off and gave him that look that said ‘shut your mouth.’

When the press left and Jonny was halfway dressed, Kaner sauntered over. 

“Got yourself a date?” He teased. 

Jonny rolled his eyes. “No, Kaner, I don't have a date. Sid invited me to dinner with him and Ryder to hang out.” His voice wavered a little. “You know it's nothing more.”

Kaner punched his arm lightly. “He's an idiot if he doesn't like you.”

Jonny looked at him deadpan.

“Alright, so I might be a hypocrite.” Kaner raised his hands in surrender. “But seriously, he’d be good for you.”

“If only he liked me.” Jonny huffed, and tugged on his shirt, then his suit jacket. “I'll see you later.”

Kaner smiled. “Have fun.” 

In the Pens locker room, everyone was teasing Sidney, because everyone knew about Jonny.

“You need me to take Ryder tonight?” Tanger asked him, “Give you and Jonny some  _ alone time.” _

“Need any condoms, Sid?” Horny laughed.

(Pun very much intended.)

“You're all assholes.” Sidney huffed, throwing a water bottle at them. “It's not like that.”

“I think it is!” Tanger raised his hand, shooting off the bench. 

“Sid no good at flirting,” Geno sighed in fake exasperation, “Or seeing obvious  _ admiration  _ Jonny is giving.”

“He’s heart-eyes every time we see him looking at you.” Jake told him, earnestly. 

Sidney fixed his suit jacket. “I appreciate the pep talk, but Jonny and I aren't like that.” He shrugged, then grabbed his duffel. “I'll see you tomorrow morning.”

Sidney left the locker room quickly, finding Jonny waiting, leaning against the wall.

His suit jacket was discarded across the top of his duffel, and the sleeves of his white button-up were pushed up to his elbows-

Sidney has  _ got  _ to stop.

He grabbed Jonny’s arm and pulled them along, saying rushed, “Anna’s waiting for us with Ryder at my car. Ignore everything they say behind us.”

Faintly, Jonny could hear laughing and whistling. His face heated up, but hurried alongside Sidney.

They broke though the doors to the outside, and they both burst into laughter.

Everything was just so easy with each other.


	13. Time Flies When You Fail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter is a little everywhere, but basically, they're both dropped from the playoffs, fly to their respective homes, and Sidney asks Jonny something surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is kind of everywhere? It's basically just a transition chapter, but does start something that will eventually help slide into the end of the book.
> 
> We have maybe six chapters left, give or take :)

April rolled around. 

Jonathan seemed to be trying extra hard to spend more time on videos chats and phone calls. Sidney was ever grateful. 

Ryder was now able to say short sentences. Jonny video chatted once, and Ryder waved to him and said, “Hi, Puh!”

Jonathan actually spilled his drink on himself. 

Sidney was making dinner one night, and Ryder came toddling up to him and tugged on his pants leg. “Food, duh, want food.”

Jonny turned thirty-one on the twenty-ninth. Sidney spent a good five to six hours on video chat with him, both before, during, and after Ryder’s nap. 

“You're old, now, like me,” Sidney teased that night, when Ryder was asleep and both Jonny and Sid were settled in their beds, still video chatting on the laptops, “Welcome to the club.”

_ “Hey! I’m not old.” _ Jonny pouted,  _ “And neither are you. Shut up.” _

Sidney laughed, one of those honking ones that always got him flustered. But Jonathan just smiled at him, somewhat fond, and Sidney’s face heated up for a different reason. 

“So how’s things been with Kaner?”

Jonny shrugged a little.  _ “It's what I expected, you know? We actually talked about it a bit. We’re alright now, he's still a good friend, but, it's nothing more than that. And that's fine, actually. I don't like him anymore.” _

“Yeah? That's good. You don't need to be pining for people that don't like you back. Spend your time on people that don't cause you pain.” Sidney pointed at the screen. “So, got anyone new on your sights?”

Jonathan had this look on his face now. One that Sidney’s only seen once, when he was feeding Ryder a bottle back on Christmas break after Ryder had hit his head and pitched a fit. That look of- something. Longing, maybe. 

_ “Kind of, I guess. They're not really ‘new’.” _

Something prickled under Sidney’s skin at the thought of Jonathan having a crush on someone else, someone who's not hi-

Stop.  _ Stop.  _

“That's good, man,” Sidney smiled tightly, “Hold on for someone who will really love you.”

Jonathan didn't say anything.

April turned May and both teams got into the playoffs. The Hawks were eliminated in the first round, the Jets coming out victorious with a 4-3 standing.

Sidney spent the entire night that night talking to Jonathan, keeping him sane, letting him rant, and eventually, talked to him until Jonathan fell asleep. 

(Sidney was probably a stalker considering the fact that he watched Jonny sleep for a few minutes after he'd knocked out. But hey, what no one knew wouldn't hurt anyone, right?)

The Pens made it to the second round, and were then eliminated by the Habs.

For the first time in his  _ life, _ Sidney wasn't that upset about it.

Because, Jonny was in Winnipeg, visiting his family. That gave Sidney some time to go back to Cole Harbor and spend time with his own family, for them to finally meet Ryder, and then-

And then maybe Sidney could see Jonathan again, in person.

○》- 《○

 

It was late when Sidney’s flight to Cole Harbor got in. Taylor picked him up and squealed at her nephew that was sucking his fingers on Sidney’s shoulder. 

They got to his old house, and Ryder looked around at the strange place and new people that were gushing at him.

“He's precious, Sidney.” His mother cooed, kissing his cheek. “How was your flight? You must be tired.”

Sidney shrugged. “It wasn't too bad. How've you all been?”

“We've been fine, son,” Troy clapped him on the shoulder, “but we can talk later. You go settle in and get Ryder comfortable. We’ll talk in the morning.”

They let Sidney flee to his room. He dropped all the bags on the floor and carefully laid Ryder on the bed. By the time Sidney was dressed in his pajamas, the toddler was already knocked out. 

He set up the travel playpen and decided to let Ryder sleep in that. He relaxed into the pillows, snuggled under the fluffy duvet, wide awake.

There was a lot of things on his mind, mainly all the ways he fucked up in the playoffs that cost them the Cup.

But also, this one fleeting thought that flickered through his mind, in big bold letters, that wouldn't go away. 

He flipped over to grab his phone, charging on the bedside table, and dialed Jonny.

He picked up on the second ring, yawning,  _ “Sid? Whas goin’ on?” _

It’s a bad idea, honestly. 

“Do you want to go to California with me?”


	14. California Dreamin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sid and Jonny are in California!
> 
> This is basically plane fluff and eating out. Enjoy!

So, Sidney might have been a little crazy.

Because, he’s a hockey player. He's trained with the media, the fans. He's a tough guy, he likes to think, came back from a nearly career-ending injury like nothing ever happened, and won himself three Cups. He's a captain and a father and very mature, and very, very responsible.

However-

“I still can't believe we’re secretly going to your beach house in California,” Jonathan breathed as they took their seats on the plane, Ryder in the seat in between them, “Do you know what would happen if people found out?”

“Without context, they'd think we’re eloping.” Sidney snorted.

Jonny gasped, “That's perfect! We can use that as a cover. We’re two famous hockey players secretly eloping and no one can know about it.”

Sidney blinked at him, “Jon, if that story got out, it would be _worse.”_

Jonathan leaned back against the seats. “I'm overthinking again.”

“Yes you are.” Sidney nodded in agreement.

Ryder made a noise and slapped Jonny’s thigh.

Sidney gave Jonny a pointed look, “See? Ryder agrees.”

Jonny rolled his eyes, but ruffled the toddler’s hair.

Sidney had spent two weeks with his family, before he flew back to Pittsburgh to pack for a California trip. Jonny flew in yesterday, and now, they were settled on the plane to take them to California.

The flight went surprisingly well, considering they had a two year old with them.

“Sid-” Jonny gasped suddenly, startling Sid from his nap, “Sidney, he's turning three. _Three._ On the second. That's-” He froze.

“That's _tomorrow,_ Sid. Oh shit.”

Sidney laughed at him, but the realization had his stomach in knots.

Ryder fell asleep halfway through, curled on Sidney's lap. Jonny scooted over into Ryder’s empty seat to sit next to Sid.

He read a French magazine for a bit, until he felt a small pressure on his shoulder. He looked down to find Sidney fast asleep, his head resting on Jonny’s shoulder.

They were flying first class, so Jonny worked hastily to put the seats back a bit, giving them some support, then flipped up the armrest in between them so it didn't jab them in the sides.

Sidney seemed to relax into Jonathan as the younger took out the blanket in Sid’s carry-on and draped it over them.

Ryder snuggled closer into Sidney, still asleep, little puffs of air escaping his lips.

Jonny stayed awake, scrolling through his phone, his left hand playing with Sidney’s hair.

○》- 《○

They got into Cali around three in the afternoon, but by the time they pulled into Sid’s beach house, it was a little after four.

“This house has no food.” Sidney suddenly remembered, sitting in the car still.

“Should we eat out?” Jonny suggested.

“Yes. We’re in no way in Heaven’s name going shopping right now.” Sidney shook his head and drove off to find a place to eat.

They ended up at a small diner in the outskirts of LA. They slid into the booths of a dimly lit, western-looking restaurant.

Their waitress sidled up to their table while Sidney got Ryder situated next to him, across from Jonny.

“Hi guys. My name is Martha. I'll be your waitress this evening. Can I get you something to drink?”

They ordered their drinks, and a water for Ryder, then let the waitress leave so they could browse the menu items.

“Look, Ryder,” Sidney grinned, pointing at the menu, “They've got chicken stri-”

 _“Chicken!”_ The toddler shrieked, clapping excitedly.

Then, he promptly away down and began pulling his shoes off.

Sidney sighed in exasperation, “I can't take you _anywhere.”_

Ryder smiled innocently.

They ordered their food- Jonny getting a steak and side salad, Sidney getting grilled chicken and mac and cheese, so Ryder could eat some. He also got Ryder a small order of chicken strips.

They ate and made small talk, chatting about hockey and Ryder and how visiting their families went.

“Taylor was all over him,” Sidney smiled, feeding Ryder a piece of one of the chicken strips while Ryder played with the contents of his baby bag, “She and my mom adored him. My dad kind of watched from a distance, but he was really excited about finally getting to meet him, too.”

‘I'm glad, Sid,” Jonny responded, “Besides, who wouldn't be excited to be on the presence of such a-a-”

“A prince?” Sid asked, a teasing tone leaving his words.

Jonathan blushed at the realization because _oof,_ caught.

But he nodded, and said earnestly, “Yeah, such a little prince.”

“Are you calling him small?” Sidney glared playfully, pointing his fork at Jonathan, “Because in doing so, you're calling _me_ small, in which case, _tu es un morceau de merde.”_

Jonathan laughed louder than he probably should have, but neither could bring themselves to care as they leaned over the table and started chirping each other in both English and French.

They fed Ryder together, Sid next to him and Jonathan reaching over to shove the food into the kid’s mouth. Ryder didn't seem to mind.

They went home, happily stuffed to the max. They rolled down the front windows, relaxing into the warm California air as Jonny drove them home. It was now almost six, but both of them were tired and jet-lagged, including Ryder, who was sleeping peacefully in the car seat.

“This is going to be an awesome vacation.” Jonathan told Sidney, who was dozing next to him. “Thank you for inviting me.”

Sidney hummed sleepily, waving his arm around until he could touch Jonny, his hand patting the outside of his elbow. “No probl’m, buddy.”

He fell asleep shortly after, and Jonathan finished the drive home in a comfortable, content silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RYDER TURNS THREE NEXT CHAPTER SOB WITH ME


	15. Ryder's Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryder turns three! There's waffles and "football" and a stuffed penguin.
> 
> Oh, and also cuDDLING.

Sidney woke up the next day with a clenching in his stomach, but happiness in his chest.

He got up, brushed his teeth, did all his morning stuff, then headed down the hall. 

Judging from the door still shut and the quietness of the house, he figured Jonathan was still asleep. 

He made his way to Ryder’s room and peeked through the crack in the doorway.

The birthday boy was passed out, drooling on his pillow in his little bed.

Sidney sighed out softly. He's had Ryder for a little over half a year now, but his baby was turning three. It was like having to go through a first birthday for Sidney, because technically it would be the first birthday Ryder would have with him.

Sidney had to walk away before he started crying.

He bustled about the house, unpacking the gifts his parents had given him when he visited, and the ones from him and other players that had mailed them to his house pack in Pittsburgh.

Sidney suddenly blinked because  _ holy shit,  _ no one knew where he and Jonny were. They  _ actually  _ technically ran off. To California. 

They didn’t even tell their  _ parents, _ oh God.

Sidney couldn't help but snicker a little. Yeesh, the media would have a field day with this if it got out.

Sidney, apparently, didn't really mind, but he’d never admit it.

(Maybe he'd admit it to Geno two weeks later, while he and Jonny were laying on the floor of the living room watching some stupid movie, with Jonathan’s head in Sid’s lap, asleep, while the latter gushed over the phone about the intense pining he was doing. But I’m getting ahead of myself.)

Sidney put all the gifts on the table, then pulled out his phone to log onto Twitter (because Tanger had forced Sidney to make one last season, which, looking back, wasn't too bad, because now he and Tazer chirp each other over social media.)

_ @SidneyCros87 my son is turning three today and I don't know what to do _

He started making breakfast, and he checked the replies from his teammates and other players while he waited for the bacon to sizzle.

He was surprised to see Kaner was the first to say something.

_ @88PKane RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 It never gets easier. I watched my 3 sisters age and it's not fun at all. All the love :D _

Sidney wasn't really sure what went down between Kaner and Jonny. Jonny mentioned before that they'd discussed feelings and other things -- what  _ things  _ he meant, Sid wasn't sure -- but said they were back to normal. 

Still, Sidney knew that Kaner meant a lot to Jonny, not just the whole ex-crush thing, but also that they were rookies together, they’re the dream team of Chicago, and they'll always have a close friendship, sort of how Sid and Geno do. 

It didn’t really bother Sid; he was glad that Jonny has a good friend on his team, to have his back in Chicago. But what Kaner meant by the winky face, he wasn't sure of either, and he wasn't sure if he could consider Kaner a friend.

Either way, Sidney was both touched and confused.

_ @ovi8 RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 Happy birthday to him!!  _

_ @emalkin71geno RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 he grows so fast! Bless the little guy! _

Sidney flipped the bacon and smiled to himself. It was strangely domestic to think about it- about how it was his son’s birthday, and Jonny was just down the hall, sleeping comfortably, and Sidney was up and making breakfast for them both. 

It was relaxing to know Jonny was there. He knew he’d never really be alone in his fatherhood, what with his family and Mario and the team. But to have Jonny there, so close and on his toes for everything, to take Ryder and tell Sidney to lay down, to clean or cut the lawn or lay with Ryder during his fits.

Jonathan was a constant presence, and Sidney couldn't be more grateful for him being there.

His phone went off again, and he checked the notifications for his friends. 

_ @Letang_58 RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 You can get through this. Deep breaths are key for these kinds of problems _

_ @28CGiroux RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 Tell him I said happy birthday! Good luck. You'll need it _

_@TeamCanada RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 Our hockey captain’s going through a crisis_ :O _  Happy birthday to Ryder Crosby!  _

_ @jonathantoews RETWEETED: @SidneyCros87 the kid’s blessed to have such a great dad. Happy Birthday, buddy. I wish you luck  _

Sidney paused, blinking at the tweet. 

First of all, that meant Jonny was up, and would be sidling into the kitchen at any moment.

But-

Sidney smiled down at his phone, reading and rereading and rereading again.

God, Jonny was just perfect.

(When he wasn't being an asshole, of course.)

As expected, Jonathan soon came shuffling into the kitchen, hair sprawled about, indentations on his arms from the mattress and sheets, a red spot on his cheek, probably from where he was lying on the top of his hand. 

Sidney totally didn't watch him sleep once. Of course not. That’d be weird. 

Right?

Jonny rubbed his eyes and stumbled over to the counter, patting Sidney’s cheek as he walked by.

Sidney rolled his eyes fondly. “There's a full pot of coffee ready for you.”

Jonny grinned tiredly. “Y’great.”

Sidney snorted. 

They stood in silence. Jonny was leaned against the counter, dressed in a loose red ‘Hawks shirt and workout shorts hanging from his hips. He still hasn't fixed his ridiculous hair, too content with sipping his coffee from one of the mugs he rummaged around to find.

Sidney put the bacon on a paper towel on a plate. “So waffles are Ryder's favorite breakfast food, and you make killer waffles. So I figured, when you're conscious and not a walking corpse-”

Jonny snorted into his mug.

“-you could make him some.”

Jonny took another sip and looked to Sidney. He was more awake now, eyes no longer heavy, shoulders no longer slumping. He smiled at him, “Anything for my little buddy.”

The smile Sidney sent him back was one of the softest he’d smiled in a while. “I saw your tweet. I- thank you. It was really sweet.”

Jonny shrugged, pouring some more coffee into his cup. “Well it’s true. Look around you, Sid, your house in Pittsburgh. Your house  _ here.  _ You think you could have done all this back when you were twenty?”

“Not without a lot of help.” Sidney replied. “Which, I do have help. I've got the team and my family- I've got you.”

Jonny’s eyes lit up with something. “You always will. But think about it. It takes a lot to be a parent, let alone a single one, let alone a  _ hockey player  _ one. You're a beast, man. It's incredible. I can't tell you how many breakdowns I’d have if I were in your place.”

Sidney’s chest felt warm, and so did his cheeks. Shit. 

“You're pretty incredible with him, too.” Sidney said, earnestly. “You're a natural. He adores you, Jonny. You can do a lot of things Geno and the others can't do.”

“Eh? Like what?”

_ “Tantrums,  _ that's what. Dude, do you even realize he doesn't have fits around you? He was throwing one over the Christmas break, and you walked in- literally, just walked in, and he stopped. You're  _ magic.” _

Jonny smirked like the asshole he is. “I'm just amazing.”

Sidney laughed a little, then said quietly, “Yeah, you- you are.”

Jonathan turned to him again, and only then did he realize how close their hands were, hanging by their sides. 

Jonny linked their pinkies, then their ring fingers. 

They met eyes, and Sidney noticed how brown they were, a mix of cognac and honey, almost chocolate but not quite, with dark brown lines, like brown sunbeams, shining from his pupils. 

Jonny’s eyes flickered between Sid’s lips and his eyes, whispered, “Sid,” leaned closer-

Ryder giggled and ran in, little feet pattering against the floor. He grinned up at them, and both men pulled away quickly. 

“Hi baby!” Sidney grinned, trying to calm his racing heart. “Happy birthday!”

Ryder squealed and made grabby hands for Sidney. “Birday!” 

Sidney picked him up and put him on his hip. Ryder looked at Jonny expectantly, and the latter laughed. 

“Happy birthday, buddy!” Jonny cheered, then leaned down to blow raspberries on his tummy.

Ryder giggled with joy, little fists gripping Sid’s shirt and hair. 

“I'll make the waffles.” Jonny said, smiling widely at Sid, and Ryder screeched excitedly,  _ “Waffle!” _ and Sid was melting at how fucking domestic his life had become.

○》-《○

Jonny made the waffles, and then ran to the store to buy a small cake. 

He came back to the two of them sitting on the couch, Ryder climbing up Sidney’s head, a hand tightly tugging at Sid’s hair, one foot on Sid’s shoulder, the other pressed against his peck.

“What on earth?” Jonny laughed, and Sid huffed, but there was a smile on his face, “He got one of those Sonic bursts again.”

Jonny laughed again, then playfully growled out, “Come here, you!” He lunged and grabbed Ryder, pulling him off Sidney. 

Ryder squealed and flailed about, and Jonny tucked him down like a football. “He keeps his head up; he’s ready! He's running down the field- turns!”

Jonny turned in a circle and ran to the opposite end of the living room. “He’s running! He's running!”

He ran out the door.

Sidney hurried to follow after him, seeing Jonny run down the stairs, Ryder giggling away, until Jonny reached the massive front lawn. Jonny ran around, shouting random football sayings, then turned to Sidney. 

“He gets ready to throw. He plants his feet- aims-!”

He raises Ryder up in his arms, like he would throw him, and Sidney gets it, then jogged a foot or so in front of Jonny. 

“He throws!”

Jonny carefully tossed Ryder to Sidney, and he was out of arms for a moment, before Sidney caught him. He quickly ran down to the end of the yard, and Jonny was hollering, jumping around like an idiot. 

_ “Touchdowwwwwwwn!” _

Ryder was screaming and laughing, shouting random words and sounds. Jonathan ran over to them and threw himself onto them in a hug.

Sidney couldn't stop beaming.

○》- 《○

They went inside a little while later, and Ryder immediately wanted the cake.

Sidney put three candles on the cake, then one for good luck. They sang happy birthday to him, then took out the candles, and Ryder smashed his face into the cake. 

“Me too, kid.” Jonathan chuckled.

Sidney took a video of the whole thing, and sent it to a group chat of his team- and Kaner.

They were simultaneously eating the cake and making sure Ryder didn't throw cake everywhere, when Sidney mentioned, “I was thinking of getting a dog.”

“That’d be good for Ryder.” Jonny thought aloud, absentmindedly wiping icing off the toddler’s cheek. “Dogs help children to not develop asthma. I think a Lab would be good, maybe a yellow one, or a Golden Retriever. They're pretty kid-friendly, especially for someone Ryder’s size.”

Jonny paused, a blush creeping onto his cheeks because whoops, caught. 

Sidney smirked, “You've been thinking about it, eh?”

“In case you asked.” Jonny shrugged, pretending he wasn't as flustered as he really was. 

Sidney just shook his head and took another bite.

They helped Ryder open presents next. Sid was slightly upset because “I counted them all based on the numbers on the package and we have  _ six hundred more blocks, _ Jesus Christ.”

Jonathan grinned in amusement.

Jonny got Ryder a couple of things, posters of Sid to put in his room, some Moana figurines, a couple of books, and a penguin plushie wearing a tiny Crosby jersey.

Ryder  _ adored  _ it.

He gasped when he pulled it out of the bag and looked up at the two of them, as if asking if it was really his.

He squealed and held closely, gripping its left fin. He didn't let go of it for the rest of the day. 

When the day ended, the three of them relaxed against the huge LazyBoy sofa/recliner mesh, watching Moana. 

Ryder was dozing, cuddled against Sidney’s chest, settled in his lap. He was sucking on the stuffed penguin's beak and his fingers while he watched the movie, cheek pressed against Sidney’s chest. 

Jonny and Sid were lying next to each other on the recliner part of the couch, legs laid across the leg rest, tangled together. Jonny’s arm was across the back of the sofa, and Sidney was slouched to the side a bit, just to the point where he could lay his head on Jonny’s upper chest, right beneath his right shoulder by his clavicle.

Somewhat hesitant, Jonny’s left arm came up and wrapped across Ryder’s back and Sid’s front, then settled on Sidney’s hip, thumb hooked in the belt loop of Sid’s jeans.

Sidney smiled to himself and nuzzled closer, both because he wanted to reassure Jonny that it was completely fine, and just because he wanted to.

Sid’s arms were wrapped around Ryder, keeping him close. One of his hands started rubbing up and down, slowly, on his small back, and Sid was suddenly being drowned on emotions. 

“He's three, Jonny.” He whispered, staring down at his son, who was a hair away from sleep. “Oh my God.”

Jonny brought the hand across the back of the sofa up a bit, close enough to run his hands through Sidney’s hair. “I know."

They didn't say anything else, just relaxed against each other, keeping each other calm through the sad emotions, clinging to each other for the memory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone hold hands and cry. Ryder aged. I'm emOtioNaL


	16. Pool Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys hit the pool. Fun things happen. Bad things happen. No one dies, so that's good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize in advance

About halfway through June, the boys decided to hit Sidney’s private pool.

“Would you lay still?” Sidney huffed, “Stop flailing, you menace.”

Ryder giggled up at Sidney, kicking his feet while Sid tried to put on a Little Swimmers pull-up.

“You're not gonna make this easy for me, are you?”

Ryder grinned.

“Little tyke’s giving you some trouble, eh?” Jonny asked, humorous, walking into the bedroom.

Sidney turned, and his breath caught.

Jonathan was dressed only in his swim trunks -- a dark, navy blue that clung to his hips and meaty thighs and ass -- exposing his sculpted chest. He was tan, so tan, all muscle and smooth and perfect.

“Yeah, he-uh, he’s not listening. Won't let me put on his pull-up.” Sidney said, tearing his eyes away from the younger man because swim trunks do nothing to hide a boner.

Jonny tutted at Ryder and stalked forward, coming up to the side of the bed. “Oh, we can't have that, can we?”

Ryder shoved his fingers deeper into his mouth, cooing.

Jonny took Ryder’s swim trunks that had been discarded on the floor. “Scoot.” He hip-checked Sidney lightly. “Let a professional handle this.”

Sidney snorted, but allowed Jonathan to do his bidding. The ‘Hawks captain leaned forward and blew a raspberry on Ryder’s bellybutton, making the toddler squeal. He wiggled Ryder’s feet into the trunks, then pretended to gobble up the baby’s feet while he tugged the trunks up the rest of the way.

Jonny smiled. “There! Say ‘all done’!”

“Ah done!” Ryder yelled out.

Sidney clapped at his wording, and Jonathan scooped up Ryder in his hands, then threw him into the air. He caught him as he came down, and Ryder clapped as rapidly as humanly possible.

“Time to swim!” Jonny cheered, then took off down the hall, Ryder tucked in his arms like a football. Ryder’s squeals echoed down the corridor.

Sidney shook his head at Jonny, a smile stuck to his face. He gathered up the towels, sunscreen, swimmies-

“Jonathan, wait! He needs sunscreen!” Sidney called out, running after them.

Jonathan always already outside, shielding Ryder from Sid’s view, but when he moved, Sidney couldn't help the grin splitting his face when he saw Ryder happily wearing Jonny’s sunglasses.

“You're actually crazy.” Sidney tsked at Jonny, then looked back to his son, “Come here, baby, I gotta get you sprayed.”

He picked Ryder up and spent the next five minutes trying to put sunscreen on the wriggling toddler.

“Fifteen minutes so it dries.” Sidney said after spraying himself, then tossed the can to Jonny, “You too.”

Jonathan sighed, as if it wore a chore, and Sidney huffed, “Skin cancer is no joke, Mister.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes but sprayed on the sunscreen.

“I went to visit a friend in South Carolina a couple years ago over the summer,” Jonny told him, chuckling, “They called this ‘sun tan lotion.’”

Sidney hummed in thought. “I mean, technically.”

Jonny shrugged.

They laid out on the beach chairs for a bit, watching Ryder carefully while he played with some of the pool toys they'd brought out.

Jonny was halfway asleep, basking in the warmth of the sun on his back, and Sid was kind of mesmerized. He looked like he was glowing in the sunlight, all warm with a golden tan. His back and shoulder muscles would ripple from time to time whenever he moved, even minutely.

He really did look breathtaking.

And don't even get Sid started on his _ass._

“Think it's been long enough?” Sidney asked, picking Ryder up and settling him in his lap.

Jonny hummed from next to him. “Think so.” He lifted his front up off the chair with his arms, and flipped ungracefully to his feet. He dipped a toe in the water and oooed, “That's really warm, Sid. It's like bath water.”

“Yeah?” Sidney slid the floaties onto Ryder’s arms until they were by his shoulders. Ryder whined and tried to take them off, but Sidney pulled his hands away. “No no, you can't swim if you don't wear your floaties.”

Sidney carried him to the steps of the pool by the shallow end, slowly getting into the water, one literal step at a time.

Ryder squealed when he saw how close he was to the water and lurched forward in Sid’s arms to get to it. Sidney held his sides and dunked his lower half into the water.

Ryder kicked around in the water excitedly, not exactly swimming, but kind of just flapping his feet.

Jonathan yelled out, “ _Four_ ,” then took a running start, before cannonballing into the pool. Sidney shielded Ryder from the uproar of water that came their way.

Jonny poked his head up from the surface, flicking his wet hair from his eyes, and spitting out water like a water fountain.

Ryder laughed in amusement and called out, “Puh!”

Jonny swam into the shallow end then waded over. “I still don't know what he's trying to say.”

“He’ll get it right eventually, and then we’ll know.” Sidney shrugged.

“Yeah. He's been doing better in speech, right?”

“Much better. Hey, Ryder, what's this color?” Sidney pointed to the water.

Ryder grinned and seized up, like he always does when he’s excited, “Blue!”

“Blue! That's right!” Sidney cheered, “And what color is this?” He pointed at the floaties.

Ryder flapped his arms, “Yeyo!”

Jonathan whooped. “Yeah, bud, yellow! You're so smart!”

The boys spent the rest of the day in the pool, playing with Ryder and his little pool toys of fish and seahorses and manta rays. Sidney would throw some dive sticks and rings into the pool, because Jonathan enjoyed being underwater and seeing how long he could hold his breath.

Ryder would often grab a stick or a ring and toss is as far as he could. Jonny would always go after it and bring it back to him.

It got dark, and Sidney’s automatic back-of-the-house lights came on, along with the ones in the pool.

“Night swimming is amazing,” Jonathan sighed, floating on his back, “It's so peaceful.”

Ryder splashed Sidney with a squeal, and Sidney flinched away with a chuckle. “Yeah, it’s peaceful without a two year old.”

Jonathan laughed and dunked under the water, coming up behind Sidney. Sidney turned his head to him, smiling, a hand on Ryder’s chest so he didn't tumble off the steps.

Jonny reflected Sid’s smile back at him, and Sidney realized just how close they were when he felt Jonny’s knee rub against his thigh from the force of the water.

Jonny’s eyes fluttered.

A phone started ringing.

Both men jolted in surprise, and Jonathan sighed out a groan, “That's Kaner’s ringtone.”

Sidney huffed in annoyance. Jonny didn't look all to happy about it, either.

He smiled small at Sidney and got out of the pool, and Sidney was totally not looking at the way Jonny’s trunks clung to his humongous ass like a second skin.

There wasn't underwear under those trunks, either, need Sid be reminded.

“Alright, little man,” Sidney said to the toddler, “Time to get out.” He gathered up all the toys and stuck them in the bag by the steps, then carried Ryder out of the pool.

Sidney wrapped a towel around his waist, then started toweling off Ryder while listening to Jonny’s conversation.

“Really? Well, that's great, dude. I'm happy for you.” Jonathan scratched the back of his neck, a little awkwardly, “So I assume then the Bahamas are treating you well? Good. Me? Oh, I'm vacationing in California with a good friend- no, it's not a girl, Kaner, seriously?”

Sidney snorted quietly and put Ryder on his feet. “Don't move.” He started drying himself off, then moved to his hair which was dripping freezing cold water down his back and onto his ass and he didn't very well appreciate it.

“No it's been fun, but I should go, I've got-”

Sidney rubbed his face dry, and then there was a splash.

Sidney spun around quickly and saw the pool exploding with bubbles and waves of water by the deep end.

Ryder fell in.

“ _Jonathan!_ ” Sidney screamed, running forward, but Jonathan was already chucking his phone away and diving in head-first after him.

It took two seconds -- two horrifying, terrifying seconds -- for Jonathan to pop back out of the water, Ryder high on his chest, clutched in his arms.

“Shit, shit.” Sidney panicked, leaning over the edge to help Jonathan float enough to keep Ryder’s head out of the water.

The toddler was coughing like mad, spitting out water and gasping for air. Jonathan made it to the shallow end and hurried to sit on the stairs.

He patted Ryder’s back, using a good amount of force, tilting Ryder sideways in his arms. Sidney threw himself next to Jonathan, helping him rub and pat Ryder’s back.

Sidney was ready to demand mouth-to-mouth help, but Ryder suddenly took in a deep, heavy breath, and sputtered into panicked wails.

Both men breathed out in relief, and Sidney’s eyes welled up with tears. He took Ryder in his arms and held him close, and the toddler sobbed into his neck, clinging desperately onto whatever he could grasp of Sidney.

Jonathan rubbed his eyes that were stinging from the water. He'd had to open them underwater to see Ryder, and they were burning like hell.

He blinked rapidly, letting out a quiet, “Ah,” of pain, and he felt Sidney reach over and grab his arm, “You saved him.”

Jonny nodded, because what else was he supposed to do? They were both struck dumb at the situation, and he didn't bother to ask Sidney if he was okay because obviously no, he wasn't okay. Jonny wasn't sure he himself was, either.

He helped Sidney to his feet and out of the water. “Go on inside. I'll grab everything. Get him changed into some warm clothes and lay him by the fireplace.”

Sidney rushed to do so, holding onto his baby like his life depended on it, in no way embarrassed about the tears coming from his eyes.

Jonathan picked up all the towels and bags, grabbed their phones, and forgot he’d been talking to Kaner.

Kaner hadn't hung up.

“ _-azer, you there? Tazer? What the fuck just happened? Why was there a baby crying? Tazer-_ ”

“Hey, hey, sorry, there was an emergency.” Jonny breathed, and he hadn't realized he was shaking until his fingertips brushed his cheek. “I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later, okay?”

“ _Yeah dude, sure. It's everything okay?_ ”

“Yeah, it-it is now. Bye.” He hung up quickly and gathered all the stuff again, before taking off into the house.

Sidney was settled on the floor by the fireplace, a warm fire burning in it. Ryder was tucked in his arms, no longer crying, just sniffling and whimpering, fisting the shirt Sidney had put on. There was a blanket over Ryder’s body, only revealing his head.

Jonny dropped all the pool stuff by the door and tugged on his own shirt. He took a big, fluffy blanket and sat down next to Sidney, then draped it over both their shoulders. He made sure it was secure and cozy against Sid before wrapping an arm around Sidney’s back.

Sidney sniffled a little and leaned his head Jonny’s shoulder, hands never once leaving Ryder.

They sat by the fire for a bit, lost in the moment of reassurance that Ryder was breathing and everything was okay. Ryder fell asleep on Sidney, but Sidney refused to put him in the bedroom.

“Sid, you're near tears,” Jonny whispered, “Hold on.”

He slunk out of the blankets and made his way into the bedroom. He picked up the travel bassinet and brought it into the living room. He set it up by them, not close enough to the fire to where it could catch flame, but to where it could still keep Ryder warm.

Jonathan gently coaxed Sidney into handing him Ryder, and then put the toddler in the bassinet to sleep.

Jonny say back down next to Sid and fixed the blanket on their laps and the one over their shoulders. He carefully brought Sidney into a hug, and Sidney started sobbing.

Jonathan shushed him softly, holding him close as the overwhelming emotions finally overtook the elder captain, overtook the father.

Jonathan closed his eyes and rested his cheek against the top of Sidney’s head, letting himself fall victim to sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters left, then the epilogue !


	17. Jonathan is Actually Insane (aka It's the 4th of July!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny convinces Sid to go swimming again. The boys finally get their shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter, then the epilogue!

June passed and July 4th came around. Sidney had calmed enough and was trying to push the incident behind them.

However.

“You can't be  _ serious _ ,” Sidney gaped at his friend, who was standing with his sunglasses down at the bridge of his nose, looking at Sid pointedly, “Jonny, Ryder almost  _ drowned. _ ”

“Ah, keyword: almost. And that's because he wandered off while we weren't looking- not our fault, by the way. We both looked away for two seconds, so if you beat yourself up for that, I will beat  _ you _ .” Jonathan clipped, “We’ll both be in the pool, and we’ll take him inside right after we get out to avoid what happened last time.”

Sidney fiddled with his shirt nervously. “I don't know…”

“We’ll stay close by him the entire time,” Jonny pressed, “C’mon, Sid. I saved him last time, and I'll do it again if needed. I promise you, nothing will happen to him.”

Sidney sighed helplessly. “Okay. Okay, fine, fine. I'll get him changed.”

Jonny punched his shoulder lightly, “Good.”

○》- 《○

“I'm having second thoughts,” Sidney said the moment he put his foot on the second step and water surrounded him up to his ankle, Ryder clutched in his arms, “Jonny…”

“Hey, don't worry,” Jonathan assured him, wading over to the steps from where he was in the shallow end, “We've got him, remember? I'll keep him safe, and so will you.”

Sidney still looked hesitant, despite Ryder's impatient kicking to hurry up, so Jonny stood on the bottom step and held out his hands. 

Sidney looked at him as if he had seven heads, but Jonny just plucked the toddler from his arms.

“Jonathan Bryan!” Sid yelped, surging into the water to chase after him.

Jonathan, for his part, blushed at the middle name. “Don't even go there, Sidney Patrick.”

Sidney glared at him so dangerously, Jonny was worried he'd pop a vein.

“Sid- Sid, look,” he nodded down to Ryder, who was kicking around in the water excitedly, “He's alright.”

Sidney stared at his son, who was playing with his green bucket and bath toys happily, until he felt somewhat calm again.

They waded around in the shallow end for a bit, transferring Ryder from one man to the other, letting him play with the bath toys and pool noodles that were floating about. 

“Do you want to see if he can jump?” Jonny asked, swimming over to them when Sid was holding Ryder.

Sidney’s eyes bulged. “Excuse me? No! What- you were pushing it when you got him into the water, Jonathan. But  _ jumping? _ You're asking for me to lock you in the closet for the rest of your life.”

Jonny quirked an eyebrow, “Was that a euphemism?”

Sidney groaned.

“Sid, look at me.” Jonny sighed, putting a hand on the black-haired man’s shoulder. Sidney met his eyes, nervous and panicked.

“I promised you I’d keep him safe in the water, and I will. I won't let anything happen to him. I'm not gonna let him  _ die, _ man. If he inhales a little water, it's okay. We all do from time to time. He’ll cough it out. But  _ I won't let him drown.” _

Sidney sucked in a shaky breath, then very hesitantly, nodded. “Just- just go slow, okay?”

Jonathan agreed and took Ryder, who grinned up at him, “Puh!”

“Still have no idea what you're saying, buddy.”

Jonny took him over to the side of the pool and put him on the deck on his feet. Sidney watched from behind the taller man, worriedly.

“Can you jump for me, buddy?” Jonny tried, “You can do it.” He put his hands on Ryder’s sides, under his armpits. “Ready? One, two, three!”

Jonathan pulled Ryder off the deck and into the water, letting him go down until the water was to his chest.

Behind him, Sidney gasped sharply and grabbed Jonny’s tricep. 

Ryder sputtered into laughter, shouting, “More!” in that adorable tiny baby voice.

Jonathan put him back in the deck. “Can you count for me? I know you can count. Count to three. One-”

Ryder swung his arms back and forth eagerly, but said nothing.

“-two, three!”

Ryder shrieked happily when Jonny swung him into the water, keeping his head above the surface.

_ “More!” _

Jonny did it again, and again, and again, and by the fifth time, Sidney seemed to be breathing easier.

When Jonny went to make him jump again, Ryder started counting before him.

“Own!”

“One-”

“Two!”

“-two-”

“Tee!”

“-thr-”

“Doe!”

“Wait-”

Ryder lunged forward and Jonny caught him in his arms (on his chest) and dunked him into the water. 

Sidney laughed, “He’s jumping on ‘four.’”

Jonny grinned, and they did it again.

On one round, Ryder lunged so hard that his head went under.

_ “Jonathan!” _ Sidney cried out in panic.

But Jonathan had already brought Ryder back to the surface and was wiping the water out of his eyes. He laughed out a coo. “Oh, you're alright.”

Ryder wiped stray droplets from his face with both his index fingers, then shrieked with joy. “More!”

Sidney sighed out in relief.

“You're playing a dangerous game, Toews.” He warned.

Jonathan knocked their shoulders together. “Do you want to catch him? Maybe it'll relax you more.”

Sidney switched places with Jonny, counting and catching Ryder as he jumped, splashing him in the water.

Ryder never once got scared.

The sun began to set, and the pool lights and back lights turned on.

“He's getting tired.” Sidney announced, cradling Ryder as he curled up against his father.

Jonny looked up from the float he was laying on. “Damn, alright.”

“What?”

“No, nothing. Let's get him to bed.” Jonny shook his head, sliding off the raft and into the warm water.

“Did you wanna swim some more?” Sidney asked, and Jonny shrugged, “A little. But we have all summer.”

Sidney bit his lip. “Let me put him to bed and I'll be back out.”

“No, Sid, you don't have t-”

“I want to,” Sidney assured, “I haven't gotten time to myself in a while. I'll be, like, fifteen minutes, and then I'll be back.”

Jonny nodded hesitantly. “If you're sure.”

Sidney got out of the pool and wrapped a towel around Ryder, then around his own shoulders. He slipped back inside to change him and put him down for bed.

Jonny swam around, enjoying the warm, bath water-like pool water. It smelled of chlorine and sunscreen and the California heat. It was oddly relaxing, being surrounded in it while staring at the house he and Sid had been living in for the past two months.

Jonny floated around on his back, calm and comfortable, until something hit him in the abs. 

He sunk underwater in a flurry of splashing, then broke the surface with a gasp. 

Sidney was laughing from his place on the deck, leaning over the wooden barrier between the deck and the pool. Jonathan turned his head and saw a beach ball bobbing by him.

“You little-”

Sidney dove headfirst into the pool, swimming gracefully underwater to Jonny. He surfaced in front of him and spit water in his face

Jonathan spat it out, “No, stop it. Bad merman. Don't do that.”

Sidney laughed, “Merman?”

Jonathan hummed, swimming around Sidney in circles. “You're so graceful in the water. Like a merman.” He said it musically, then fell backwards into the water.

Sidney snorted, “I'm the merman? You're the one who's been on water more.”

“Yeah, but you're the one who grew up in Cole Harbor.”

“You're the fisherman. You're better friends with the fish.”

“I cook them.” Jonny said, deadpan.

Sidney doubled over in laughter, holding onto Jonny’s shoulder for support.

Jonny grinned down at him, and Sidney gasped for air. “Yeah,” he breathed, “But you're still the fisherman.”

Jonny smiled, “And so the fisherman fell in love with the merman.”

Sidney shoved him. “Stop trying to re-quote ‘Twilight’. You're not cool.”

_ “You _ think I'm cool. That's all that matters.” The brunet shrugged. 

“You're ridiculous.”

Jonny grinned and dove into the water, swimming to the bottom of the deep end, before resurfacing. “What if he wakes up?”

Sidney nodded towards the table. “I brought out the baby monitor.”

“Ah, smart.”

“I've been doing this for nearly seven months, Jon. I'm not stupid.” He paused, “Wow. It's been seven months.”

Jonny dwam over, smiling softly. “It's amazing, isn't it?”

Sidney nodded and looked up at the sky. Jonny looked up, too. 

“I love nightswimming.” The brunet sighed our peacefully, “It reminds me of summers in Winnipeg, when David and I would go to the lake and swim at midnight.”

“I bet you miss them,” Sidney said softly, “and summers in Winnipeg. Winters, too. Your family.”

Jonny nodded. “Of course I do. It's my home. But so is Chicago, and now, so is Pittsburgh.”

Sidney looked at him, and found Jonny staring at him. The reflection of the pool was making his deep brown eyes sparkle, and the water looked like liquid gems against his tan skin in the light of the moon.

“Pittsburgh?” Sidney whispered. 

Jonathan took Sidney’s hands in his and laced their fingers together. 

“Pittsburgh. Because it has Ryder. Because it has you.”

Sidney could feel his heartbeat in his throat, hear it in the ears. But he was the calmest he'd felt in a long time. Finally at peace. Finally home. 

Jonny’s nose bumped against Sidney’s. 

Sidney was ready for the baby monitor to go off, for one of them to slip, for something to interrupt them.

But it never did.

Jonathan seemed hesitant, worried about making a wrong move. So Sidney took initiative, leaning forward to press their lips together. 

Jonathan melted against him, and Sid’s hands came up to grab Jonny’s, resting them on his waist. Sidney’s settled on Jonny’s hips. His fingers dug into the skin there, pulling him closer.

They pulled back, and Jonathan sucked in half a breath, “Sid, we can't-”

“Shut up,” Sidney mumbled against Jon’s lips, pecking them, “Just shut up.”

He surged forward again, and Jonny met him there, pushing into it. The water sloshed around them. Jonathan wrapped his arms around Sid’s torso, keeping him close. 

Sidney was surprised to find that he was controlling the kiss, that Jonathan was letting him win the battle for dominance. It was hot-  _ God _ it was so hot, Jonny initiating it all, giving  _ himself _ a false sense of security, and then letting Sidney overpower him, take control.

_ God Almighty _ .

They pulled away, and Sidney laughed quietly, hand cupping the back of Jonny’s neck. “We’re making out in our pool. I feel like such a teenager.”

Jonny grunted, shifting his hips. “Considering how fast I got hard, I’d agree with you.”

Sidney shuddered.

“How much time do you think we have?” Jonny asked, and Sidney leaned against his shoulder, “I don't know.”

“We could do it here.”

“I think the fuck not,” Sidney hissed, “Our  _ son  _ swims in here.”

Jonny’s upper lip quivered, and he was a little breathless when he whispered, “Our son, huh?”

Sidney blushed, but shrugged. “I mean, you act like his other parent, and he already adores you.”

Jonny smiled fondly, nuzzling Sid’s cheek with his nose, “Good. I treat him like my own kid, anyway.”

Sidney wrapped his arms around Jonny’s middle, tugging him close. Jonny did the same, “Sidney, I- we live thousands of miles away from each other. We can't- how is this gonna work? I'll barely see you, or Ryder.”

“I've got that all figured out. But we’ll talk about that tomorrow.” Sid whispered, “Right now, I really wanna fuck you.”

Jonny moaned, “Fuck, your  _ ass.” _

Sidney snorted, “I know the fucking feeling.”

“Let’s go inside- shit, before he wakes up.” Jonathan panted, pressing himself into Sidney’s front.

They hurried to dry off, then rushed inside, tripping over their feet as if they were teenagers again. Sidney tugged Jonathan inside the bedroom door and locked it behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY DID IT
> 
> THEY STOPPED THEIR PINING


	18. Figuring It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonny and Sid are finally together. Sidney reveals his plan to make it work. No one ever thought Sidney Crosby would go so far to be with Jonathan.

Fresh rays of sunlight were coming through the curtains when Sidney woke up the next morning. He felt warm and sated, especially with the body mass that was holding him.

Jonathan was still asleep next to him, his right arm slung over Sidney’s chest, his other tucked in between their sides. His head was pillowed on Sidney’s peck. Even though Jonny was taller, Sidney came to realize that he'd curl up on himself when he slept, as if making him smaller. 

Sid’s right arm was around Jonny’s shoulders, supporting Jonny’s neck. Their legs were tangled together and they were still both gloriously naked.

Sidney looked over at the bedside table and checked the time, then the baby monitor. Ryder was still asleep and it was a little over six thirty in the morning.

Sidney’s free hand came down to run through Jonny’s hair, the soft brown locks that were sprawled about his forehead messily, but made him look so much cuter, so much softer than he'd ever let on to be.

Sidney stared, because now he could, because Jonny was his now, and he thought, contently,  _ I get to have this. _

Jonathan hummed, stirring a bit in his sleep. He opened his eyes blearily, taking a moment to remember how to see. He patted around Sidney’s chest and abs, feeling out his surroundings, because sleepy Jonny was like buzzed Jonny and Sid thought it was adorable.

He looked up at Sid and smiled lazily, yawning, before saying, “Coffee?”

Sidney snorted, “Jesus Christ, you're a piece of work.”

“Mmm. Said that about my ass last night.” Jonny teased, relaxing back into Sidney’s side, “Whattimezit?”

“Quarter to seven.” Sid replied, nuzzling into Jonny’s hair, “You're so soft in the mornings.”

“Fuck off,” Jonny huffed, but his smile made Sidney beam, “I wish it could be like this all the time.”

Sidney pressed his face to Jonny’s hair, “Who says it can't?”

Jonathan looked up at Sidney, more awake and not at all ready for this conversation. Not after how amazing last night was.

“Sid, you know we can't. You live in Pittsburgh and I live in Chicago. We'd only see each other during games against each other or All Star Games, for, what, nine months? What kind of relationship is that for us? What kind of life is that for Ryder?”

“I told you last night, remember?” Sid rolled his eyes. “I've got that already worked out.”

“Well, please enlighten me.”

Sidney bit his lip, “I'm gonna retire.”

Jonathan went still. “You're  _ what?” _

“I'm retiring,” Sidney repeated, “I discussed it with Mario last month. Ryder is getting older and I want to be able to bond with him. I've only been in his life for six or seven months. I can't miss any more.”

“Sidney, you're dream- you worked so hard to be a player- to be a captain.” Jonathan breathed incredulously, “You can't just give that up.”

“Who said I would?” Sidney shrugged, “I'll play the preseason games in September. There’s about five or six. When the actual season starts, I'll retire and give Geno my ‘C.’ Then, Ryder and I can move to Chicago until you've fulfilled everything you wanted to in your career. When you retire, we can go from there. That way, we’ll be together.”

Jonathan blinked up at Sid, overcome with emotions. “Hockey means so much to you.”

“Yes, but you and Ryder are my family. And my family comes before everything.” Sidney dismissed, “Besides, it's not like I'll never play again. We’ll have frozen lakes and street hockey leagues. We could buy a team one day, wouldn't that be great?”

“Are you sure?” Jonny asked, “You have to be absolutely sure you're okay with this. How long have you been thinking about this?”

“I've been searching for ways to be together since Christmas,” Sid admitted sheepishly, “But I didn't come up with the idea until last month.”

“Sidney, you have to promise me, you're not joking, you're one hundred percent sure about this.” The younger pushed, grasping Sid’s hands, “I'm serious. This is huge.”

“I know it is.” Sidney assured, “And I'm positive. I want this. I want you. Besides, I've hurt my back enough as it is. I think it's time to take it easy.”

Jonathan leaned up and pressed a soft, loving kiss to Sid’s mouth. “So this is it. We’re doing this. Boyfriends. Parents. The whole nine yards.”

“The whole nine yards.”

They kissed for a little bit, nipping at their lips, and Sidney kissed the scar on Jonny’s top lip and  _ fuck, _ if that didn't turn Jonny on in a heartbeat.

They rubbed against each other, humming and groping each other, and then-

Then Ryder made a sound from the baby monitor, babbling, “Da da da da,” like a mantra.

Sidney thunked his head onto the pillow, and Jonny laughed, “Welcome to parenthood as a couple.”

Jonny slid off of Sidney and the latter stumbled to his feet. Jonny followed him and they entered Ryder’s room, the toddler lighting up when he saw them.

Sidney picked him up and kissed his cheek in good morning. Jonny did the same.

Ryder squealed and reached his hands out, “Puh pa. Puh pa. Papa!”

Jonathan stopped.

“Wha- that's what he's been trying to say?” Sidney breathed, “Oh my God- Jonny.”

Jonathan laughed, happy and breathless, and took the toddler in his arms. “I'm Papa? You called me ‘Papa’?”

Ryder patted Jonny’s cheeks, and nodded as if a confirmation that yep, that was his Papa, and he said so in a repetitive manner.

Needless to say, Jonny cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue is next!


	19. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year later, Sid and Jonny are married and have moved to Chicago. Let's wrap things up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important authors note at the end!

_Sidney sat at the table in the middle of the press conference, listening as Mario spoke, somewhat sadly, but also proudly._

_Jonathan was next to him, holding his hand under the table, and squeezed it reassuringly. Sidney did the same._

_“Sid, go ahead.” Mario told him._

_Sidney cleared his throat and leaned forward to the microphone. “As all of you know, I adopted a toddler last season: Ryder. During Christmas break, my friend here, Jonathan, came to visit, and to help me.” The corner of his lip quirked up in a little smile-smirk._

_“Over the course of the rest of the season, Jonny continued to visit and lend a hand. He started, basically helping me raise my son.”_

_The reporters leaned in, intently, and Sidney’s smile became more genuine._

_“Quite recently, we've realized we were seemingly, kind of-” he stuttered on the explanation, “Jonathan and I developed feelings for each other, and have started dating.”_

_Pictures went off instantly, but Jonathan just laughed quietly, taking a sip of his water bottle. “You sound so old, you doof.”_

_Sidney scoffed, “Who says ‘doof’ as an insult?”_

_Mario cleared his throat, Q and Sully stifled their laughter behind their hands._

_“This summer, I was given the opportunity to spend quality time with my son, and with Jonathan,” Sidney continued, “I realize that many players in the NHL have kids, young ones, too, and have to deal with leaving them so often. But Ryder and I missed the chance to bond through pregnancy and him as a baby.”_

_He took a breath, and Jonathan started comfortingly playing with his and Sidney’s fingers linked fingers._

_“I'm going to retire.”_

_More cameras went off and the reporters gasped, hands shooting up to desperately ask questions._

_“Retiring will give me that time that I missed to bond with my son that other players got. And-” he gently nudged Jonny’s foot, and the other man smiled, staring under the table, “it will give me the chance to strengthen my relationship with Jonathan. I will be moving to Chicago temporarily, until Jonathan himself retires. Then, we’ll go from there.”_

_Jonathan leaned towards the microphone. “I didn't ask him for any of this, just FYI. So to the Pens fans, I'm sorry, don't kill me.”_

_Sidney hit him._

_Jonny smirked, holding back his laugh, “I'm not complaining, though.”_

“What’re you watching?” Jonathan asked, walking into view.

The newest addition to their family, Arabella Crosby-Toews, was cradled in his arms, half asleep, contently sucking on a bottle. She was only three weeks old, but she was absolutely precious.

“Nothing,” Sidney smiled, putting his phone away, “Where’s Ryd-”

As if on cue, Ryder came running into the room, butt naked and shrieking happily while trailing his blanket behind him.

“Excuse me,” Sidney gawked, “Where are your pants?”

“No pants!” Ryder screamed in joy, then took off down the hall.

Sidney chased after him, then scooped him up from behind. Ryder giggled as Sidney walked him back to the living room.

Jonny was on the couch, Arabella cuddled up to his upper chest and pecks, just kind of holding her. A burst of fondness exploded in his chest. Sidney sat next to him, and Ryder decided to snuggle up on between them.

Life was nice in Chicago. He missed Pittsburgh, the Pens, his family. But the Hawks quickly became like another family to him, too.

Kaner came over often to see the kids, help out a bit, but his relationship with his girlfriend (her name was Georgia) was furthering, and he was starting to plan his future with her

Jonny was genuinely happy for them.

Sid and Jonny had gotten married six months ago over the summer, and they'd gone to Nova Scotia for the ceremony. All the Hawks and all the Pens had gone, plus both their families. Ryder had been the ring bearer, running up and down the aisle excitedly until David and Taylor had to lead him to the altar by hand. They'd adopted Arabella last month, and the media ate it up.

They put the kids to bed and crawled into theirs, the news playing quietly on their television.

“So I was thinking.” Jonny said, slouching against Sidney. Sidney wrapped his arms around him, leaning his head on Jonny’s shoulder to mouth at the skin there.

Sidney hummed, nosing up Jonny’s neck until he got to his face, then kissed his lips earnestly. Jonathan hummed back, reaching up to clasp his hands on the back of Sid’s neck. Sidney’s hands slid down Jonny’s torso, to the place on his hip right above his crotch.

“Mm. Sid-” Jonny mumbled, “Sid- been thinking.”

Sidney huffed a little. “That's never good.”

Jonny parted from their kiss. “Ha ha. But, I've been thinking.”

“We've established that.”

_“Sid.”_

“Okay, okay. What is it?”

Jonny nuzzled his husband’s cheek. “Thirty-five.”

Sidney blinked blearily. “Huh?”

“I'm gonna retire at thirty-five.” Jonny repeated, “Then we can go back to Pittsburgh. Own the Penguins like Mario wants you to.”

Sidney paused, “What? Really? What about the Blackhawks? You're just gonna leave?”

“The Hawks will always hold a special place in my heart, obviously,” Jonny replied, scooting up to nuzzle against Sid’s neck, “But I'll never be as close with them as you are with the Pens. You lived with Mario, Sid. You took the entire team under your wing. I know how much they mean to you.”

Sidney smiled, chuckling a little wetly, and asked, “Are you doing this for me, or to be the husband of the future owner of a hockey team?”

Jonny smirked. “Maybe a bit of both.”

Sidney laughed quietly, and Jonny said, “I love you.”

He twisted until he was sitting on his butt on the mattress, and he pulled Sidney into his lap. Sidney grinned and bit at Jonny’s jaw.

“Prove it.”

The baby monitor went off with the sound of Arabella’s cries, and seconds later, Ryder shouted down the hall, “Papa!”

Sidney groaned, dropping his head onto Jonathan’s shoulder. “I've got Arabella. You take Ryder.”

They rolled off the bed and stumbled down the hall, both hard and exhausted. But hey, that's the life of parents.

It's funny, though -- Sidney thought  when Jonny smiled, happy and loopy as he soothed Ryder back to sleep, and while Sid fed Arabella -- that all this happened- that they did all of this-

For Ryder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it guys! That's the end! Omg I adore this book and everything about it. Thank you so much for your support, it means so much.
> 
> ANNOUNCEMENT: Due to my adoration of this book, I'm making a second book. It's not a sequel, but it will have bonus content, snippets of things from this verse, etc. It's called Videos Taken at Midnight, so go check it out if you want!
> 
> I love you all! Thank you again :)


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